The Saga of the Elusive Lawn Beast

[AKP]

So here goes...  I heard a tale of a mythical creature known as the Craftsman Lawn Tractor 42 In. Hydrostatic 21Hp Briggs & Stratton Turn Tight Lawn Tractor... or as it is more commonly known... "The Lawn Beast".  I heard that this beast consumes vast quantities of grass with little effort... and will even hold your beer for you while it does it.  

So I begin my quest.  Alpha81... the great Lawn Beast hunter... told me of a magical place where this creature has been known to reside.  A place called... Sears.  He claims to even own one of these beasts!  So after several minutes of searching this "Sears"... I found that they do in fact have several of these monsters... and not only that, for a small price, they can make it appear at your house at a designated time!  Oh the joy!!!  I even had them arrange to have it bring a 42" mulch kit... which they indicated would fit "Any 42" Lawn Beast... year 2010 and later".

So like some black market deal on a street corner in Delhi... I arrange to have the Lawn Beast appear at my home so I can capture it.  They even had a machine call me the night before, to tell me it would arrive on Friday... the 16th... between 4 & 7pm.  I was so excited I could hardly stand it.  

Friday came... and I raced home from work to await the imminent appearance of this creature.  4pm comes and goes... then 5pm... then 6pm.  My anticipation was mounting.  My heart racing as I lurked in the bushes to pounce upon it as it lumbered by.  7pm comes and goes... and I fear something may be amiss.  So I contact the keepers of the Beast.  Again I am transported to the streets of Delhi... (I can tell this because of the accent of the Beast dealer I am speaking to).  

After communing with the Gods of Sears... she tells me that the 42" Mulch Kit...  the one that would fit "Any 42" Lawn Beast... year 2010 and later"... was not the right one for the 42" Beast I was expecting... and that they had cancelled the entire appearance!  Oh the horror!!  So... she connects me to someone else in Delhi that can help me.  Who then connects me to someone else... who connects me to someone else.  Finally... this person seems to have an answer!  He says "Dat I must call de local Sears, and dat dey will be able to asseest me".  

I must add that by this time, my level of frustration was indeed mounting.  I was beginning to doubt the existence of the elusive Lawn Beast completely... but I went ahead and called them.  Again... a machine answered, and after following its instructions, I was connected to the exact same Beast Herder in Delhi that I spoke with the first time!  

HAH!  This time I have her.  I ask to speak with her SUPERIOR!  But she was a tricksy Beastmaster... she told me that he was not available... and that the delivery of the Beast could not be rescheduled until the issue with the Mulch Kit was corrected.  Fine... I tell her... Get rid of the mulch kit.  Just send me the beast.  She happily agrees... notifies me that my payment for the kit will be refunded within 7 to 10 business days... and she will set up an appearance of the creature for Sunday.

SUNDAY????  Sunday is no good I tell her.  I need the Beast to feast on my yard on Saturday!!  But the wiley witch doesnt budge... Sunday is all she can do.  But... she will send me a $50 gift card for my inconvenience!  HAH!!!  I have her now.  I hastily accept the gift, and agree to Sunday.  She tells me that the mysterious machine will again call me on Saturday to let me know when the beast will arrive.

Saturday... 9pm...  Have I angered the gods of Sears?  Does this beast really exist?  No call from the machine!  Again I call... and I am whisked off to the streets of Delhi to again deal with the crafty beast merchants.  

"It seems dat we made mistake"... I am told by the thick accented woman.  "De person who promsied you dat de beast would be sent on Sunday... deed not set eet up for Sunday.  We will have to send on Monday."

Apparently, the woman could tell I was mentally reaching through the phone and trying to strangle her... so before I could say anything, she added... "But for your inconvenience, we can send you anodder $50 geeft card".  

"Fine..." I sigh in defeat.  Monday...  

So... I will again await the appearance of the beast.  This time on Monday.  But I am beginning to wonder if it will actually show up.  I am beginning to doubt that it even exists.  My son and I even have a bet going... and he is betting no.  

So stay tuned for the next chapter of "The Elusive Lawn Beast"

[eagl]

If the gift cards arrive before the beast, then cancel the order completely and order another beast from a different sears.

[AKP]

If the gift cards arrive before the beast, then cancel the order completely and order another beast from a different sears.

The thought has crossed my mind...  Or if they screw up my delivery enough times maybe I can get even more gift cards.  Sheesh!

[JimmyC]

no collector !   

[AKP]

no collector !   

Naw... was gonna see how it does mulching first.  Looks like I am gonna see how it does scattering it first though!  lol...  But I already have 2 outstanding "collectors".  My two teenagers just LOVE raking grass

[bj229r]

I don't 'collect' it...(DID try the mulching setup with my Husky....the deck on home-owner-type lawn tractors REALLY isn't designed for it--not tall enough--it leaves a 1" wide of grass line behind both sides of the deck...meh, ya get what you pay for) What I do, run thru, cut it, wait an hour or 2 for it to dry, hit the clumped areas of now DRY grass again, they are dispersed perfectly, wife is none the wiser!

[MaSonZ]

why collect it? do some research on your own lawn, and mow it at that just right time when it needs mowing, but will not leave clumps. it does a beautiful job looking like it was collected, and not needing a second trimming.

[mbailey]

  My two teenagers   raking grass

This is more elusive than the Lawn beast around here   

[JimmyC]

why collect it? do some research on your own lawn, and mow it at that just right time when it needs mowing, but will not leave clumps. it does a beautiful job looking like it was collected, and not needing a second trimming.

   cos here in England the weather is fickle, some might say inclement, when it rains for 10 days and you cant cut it but its growing  you get outta sync..
I have lots of lawn..mow a fair old bit..
I actually like walking an old briggs & stratton cricket pitch mower as you end up with beautiful stripes..
I used a pedometer once and I walk 12 miles doing my lawns..
I`ve done plenty of "research" lol

But AKP...its lovely and I hope they sort ya with it soon..
Great to have  top kit and will save lots of time.
and get your kids off the grass and raking the stuff!  jk 
I have come over a slight shade of green...Beer Holder 
<S> Jimmy

[AAJagerX]

1.  Keep the gift cards.

2.  Cancel the order.

3.  Head over to the nearest John Deere dealer.

 

[bj229r]

The John Deere LT series (the ones you see in Lowes, etc) are made in China, really no different, (although they prolly have better customer service) Look at any consumer forums about the John Deere consumer series of mowers....rare they go 2 seasons with crap falling off

[Dichotomy]

my lawn mower

[MaSonZ]

The John Deere LT series (the ones you see in Lowes, etc) are made in China, really no different, (although they prolly have better customer service) Look at any consumer forums about the John Deere consumer series of mowers....rare they go 2 seasons with crap falling off

4 years with my John Deere lawn tractor, and only issues I have had were user error and maintenance. my brother has a John Deere 790 utility tractor, about 8 years old, no issues unless, yet again, user error or maintenance.

[Rob52240]

Nice mower.

I've never had any luck mulching with side discharge mowers.  They've all left streaks of taller grass aside from my old Dixie Chopper, which left noticeable streaks if you looked closely, even with both engines throttled all the way up.

[mbailey]

3.  Head over to the nearest John Deere dealer.

 

AAJager is biased, just look, I captured this pic of him  cutting his grass......needless to say, the lawn grubs quiver in fear