Share a Joke!

[Helm]

Brighten everybody's day with a laugh!


I'll get the ball rolling:     "Why do Chickens sit on thier eggs????"












                                      "Because they don't have chairs!!"  ......Bah Doom Bahhhhhhhhh!!

[tmetal]

what did the elephant say to the nekkid man? "can you pick up peanuts with that thing too?"

[PFactorDave]

what did the elephant say to the nekkid man? "can you pick up peanuts with that thing too?"

Has Dadkev been hanging out at the zoo?   

[Meatwad]

[Megalodon]

Two Blondes walk in to the forest. One looks down and says "oooo look deer tracks" .
The other looks down and says "those arn't deer tracks those are bear tracks", then they got hit by the train.

[curry1]

What's the difference between a duck?

An orange.

[Banshee7]

Two Blondes walk in to the forest. One looks down and says "oooo look deer tracks" .
The other looks down and says "those arn't deer tracks those are bear tracks", then they got hit by the train.

This made me 

[helbent]

3 pregnant women are sitting in the ob/gyn office.  1 says "We're having a baby boy cause we had sex standing up", the 2nd says "yea we're going to have a little girl, cause we were laying down".  The third, a blonde, bows her head and begins to cry. The others ask her whats wrong and she looks up sobbing "im going to have puppies"

[F22RaptorDude]

3 pregnant women are sitting in the ob/gyn office.  1 says "We're having a baby boy cause we had sex standing up", the 2nd says "yea we're going to have a little girl, cause we were laying down".  The third, a blonde, bows her head and begins to cry. The others ask her whats wrong and she looks up sobbing "im going to have puppies"

[MaSonZ]

3 pregnant women are sitting in the ob/gyn office.  1 says "We're having a baby boy cause we had sex standing up", the 2nd says "yea we're going to have a little girl, cause we were laying down".  The third, a blonde, bows her head and begins to cry. The others ask her whats wrong and she looks up sobbing "im going to have puppies"

"I don't see whats so funny about Hellen Keller jokes."



"Neither does she...."

[PFactorDave]

Here's the only joke I have ever been able to remember...  It's kind of long, but I have always liked it.



A young boy and his mother were on a long flight, on their way home after visiting the boy's grandparents.
Several hours into the flight, out of the blue, the boy turns to his mother and asks,

"Mommy...  If big doggies can have little baby doggies, and big kitties can have little baby kitties...  Why can't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

Well, needless to say, the mother was taken off guard.  She certainly didn't want to have "The talk" with the boy, sitting in an airplane at 30,000 feet.

At that moment, the flight attendant stopped and asked if they needed anything.  The mother was grateful for the distraction, but the young boy was having none of it and immediately asked the flight attendant,

"Miss...  If big doggies can have little baby doggies, and big kitties can have little baby kitties...  Why can't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

Well, needless to say, the flight attendant was taken off guard.  She certainly didn't want to get into that topic with this young boy.  She decided to distract the boy.  

"Do you want to see where the pilot flies the airplane?"

The boy excitedly nodded his head and smiled.  Both the flight attendant and the mother breathed a sigh of relief.

The flight attendant took the young boy to the cockpit and introduced him to the Captain.

Before the Captain said a word, the boy immediately asked what was on his mind,

"Sir...  If big doggies can have little baby doggies, and big kitties can have little baby kitties...  Why can't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

The Captain didn't miss a beat,

"Well son, I don't know about other airlines, but this is United and we pull out on time every time."

[Wayout]

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? - A brachio-snore-us

What do you call a dinosaur with 1 eye? - A Do-you-think-he-saurus.

And for our British friends...
What do you call 2 robbers? - A pair of knickers!

[M0nkey_Man]

Here's the only joke I have ever been able to remember...  It's kind of long, but I have always liked it.



A young boy and his mother were on a long flight, on their way home after visiting the boy's grandparents.
Several hours into the flight, out of the blue, the boy turns to his mother and asks,

"Mommy...  If big doggies can have little baby doggies, and big kitties can have little baby kitties...  Why can't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

Well, needless to say, the mother was taken off guard.  She certainly didn't want to have "The talk" with the boy, sitting in an airplane at 30,000 feet.

At that moment, the flight attendant stopped and asked if they needed anything.  The mother was grateful for the distraction, but the young boy was having none of it and immediately asked the flight attendant,

"Miss...  If big doggies can have little baby doggies, and big kitties can have little baby kitties...  Why can't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

Well, needless to say, the flight attendant was taken off guard.  She certainly didn't want to get into that topic with this young boy.  She decided to distract the boy.  

"Do you want to see where the pilot flies the airplane?"

The boy excitedly nodded his head and smiled.  Both the flight attendant and the mother breathed a sigh of relief.

The flight attendant took the young boy to the cockpit and introduced him to the Captain.

Before the Captain said a word, the boy immediately asked what was on his mind,

"Sir...  If big doggies can have little baby doggies, and big kitties can have little baby kitties...  Why can't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

The Captain didn't miss a beat,

"Well son, I don't know about other airlines, but this is United and we pull out on time every time."

[MaSonZ]

Here's the only joke I have ever been able to remember...  It's kind of long, but I have always liked it.



A young boy and his mother were on a long flight, on their way home after visiting the boy's grandparents.
Several hours into the flight, out of the blue, the boy turns to his mother and asks,

"Mommy...  If big doggies can have little baby doggies, and big kitties can have little baby kitties...  Why can't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

Well, needless to say, the mother was taken off guard.  She certainly didn't want to have "The talk" with the boy, sitting in an airplane at 30,000 feet.

At that moment, the flight attendant stopped and asked if they needed anything.  The mother was grateful for the distraction, but the young boy was having none of it and immediately asked the flight attendant,

"Miss...  If big doggies can have little baby doggies, and big kitties can have little baby kitties...  Why can't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

Well, needless to say, the flight attendant was taken off guard.  She certainly didn't want to get into that topic with this young boy.  She decided to distract the boy.  

"Do you want to see where the pilot flies the airplane?"

The boy excitedly nodded his head and smiled.  Both the flight attendant and the mother breathed a sigh of relief.

The flight attendant took the young boy to the cockpit and introduced him to the Captain.

Before the Captain said a word, the boy immediately asked what was on his mind,

"Sir...  If big doggies can have little baby doggies, and big kitties can have little baby kitties...  Why can't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

The Captain didn't miss a beat,

"Well son, I don't know about other airlines, but this is United and we pull out on time every time."

[Tac]

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"