1. players gaming the game by zooming (p38 docet!);
If I'm picturing your description correctly that's not a HO. That's a rope-a-dope. If you follow an opponent up, and you cannot raise the nose (stall condition) by the time they come back down at you it doesn't matter if they're in your windscreen or not. If you can't get guns, and they can, you walked into a classic trap. And while it wasn't a named maneuver, you can hear interviewed combat vets describe exactly that situation.
Let's forget gameplay and community ethics and talk tactics for a moment. It's a poor tactically to hold yourself in someone elses guns while doing the same, if you have other options. At a merge from long contact going for the HO will generally put that pilot at a maneuver disadvantage after the merge. Also, generally not the best tactic.
That said, when you change the situation to dissimilar aircraft, lets say a typhoon vs spit. The HO becomes higher on the choice list for the typh, because the typh has slim chance in gaining angles in a straight out maneuver fight. And the spit would be foolish not to take that into account at the merge.
Lets change the scenario to 2 typhs. Now we're back to the not so smart dice roll when choosing the HO. However, both tactically should be prepared to maneuver to avoid the HO.
That "come screaming from 5k yards away nose on" is the variety of HO that is generally frowned upon, but in the middle of a furball sometimes it was the only option. It's a valid tactic sometimes, but often it is a poor choice.
I wish I had a film of a fight where a P38 was sneaking up on me as I was shooting down his countryman (I had vulched the 38 about 10 minutes earlier). We ended up in opposing circles, max performing turn nearly colliding and lit each other up. My pilot was killed, and I know his wing was porked because he asked (this was before the collusion messages were implemented) if I got hits on his wing. No whining involved. We ended up neutral position in hard maneuvering and trying to get guns first was the only real option. I didn't call HiTech a HO dweeb because of it