How would you feel...

[killnu]

if you found out your 14 year old daughter received over 3000 text (more than 3 times more than her best friend) from another man that she called "daddy" while you were deployed....and your wife tried to hide it from you?

[Zacherof]

Fing pissed off. That's total bs right there. I'd be impressed if that "daddy" didn't get his 
(arrest and paper work/ court isn't fun nor worth it)

And why would she hide it? Makes you wonder what else shed be hidding.

[coombz]

i'd probably feel like it was a really dumb idea to join the military

[Zacherof]

i'd probably feel like it was a really dumb idea to join the military

this is why I'm going in single. Also don't want to get deer hunter sent to me with my girl copulating with some guy(better than a best friend) whilst in the middle if it

but the benifiets out wiegh the negatives.

[RotBaron]

I'd feel like what your screenname implies.

I hope this didn't happen to you, but if it did, deep breaths and use a technique called the 10th row effect. That is look at what is going on around you as if you were in a movie and as far back as the 10th row. See things as they are happening not as they are feeling. Try to view things from someone else seeing what is going on. It's not easy to do, and requires you to put feelings aside for a moment, but it will stop you from making impulse decisions and offer perspective. Tough task for anyone.

 

[homersipes]

wow, I hope this didn't happen to you or anyone else for that matter   I couldn't imagine, but boy would I ever be  

[RngFndr]

Well, I'm old school..
I don't think I need to say any more than that, about that situation..

I will say this tho.. With all that is happening right now..
Men of Strong Will, and good Character, ARE NEEDED AT HOME..

The REAL fight is just gettin warmed up!

[Curval]

Spend every waking hour rebuilding your relationship with your daughter.  Don't blame her or get angry with her about this other guy. 

Leave the wife.

[kappa]

yea,  don't blame the kid. . they don't understand life. .

[gyrene81]

i'd probably feel like it was a really dumb idea to join the military

only you Coombz...

[xbrit]

i'd probably feel like it was a really dumb idea to join the military

Why bother posting crap like this, ok we get it you don't like the military so why play a game that
by it's very nature would attract members (past and present) of the military.

[ozrocker]

Coombz seems to be so Anti- Military.
Maybe he was denied entry and or kicked out?
Seems he lacks any kind of compassion.
Bet he has few friends, if any. Poor sap.

KillnU thanks for your service bro, sorry about your situation.
Hope you get things worked out, whatever you decide to do.
Whatever you do, don't do anything that'll get you in a bind.

Curious, is other guy Military as well?    Article 15
                                                                                                                                           Oz
                                                                                                                                                    

[Maverick]

Well you have a couple options. First off I'd suggest you avail yourself to the marriage counseling available and see where it leads.You always can fall back on the second option of splitting the sheets but going there first removes all others. It depends on if you feel there is any reason to remain in the relationship or not. You are still going to have an attachment to your daughter no matter what but how much depends on how you handle this. Going nuclear may reduce what possibilities you may have for the future with her.

I know it absolutely sucks and it's going to play hell with your mind for some time. Take small steps and one step at a time. Things can and will get better.

[VonMessa]

Sounds like an opportunity to:

Spend more time with the daughter to deepen your relationship

Trade-in the old, stretched-out piece and find yourself some strange that is new and fresh (just don't get married again)...

Get a new place and put that beer tap on the fridge like you always wanted to...

[coombz]

Why bother posting crap like this, ok we get it you don't like the military

Coombz seems to be so Anti- Military.
Maybe he was denied entry and or kicked out?
Seems he lacks any kind of compassion.
Bet he has few friends, if any. Poor sap.                                                                                                                                  

It's interesting that neither of you are able to grasp the distinction between being 'anti stupid wars' and entirely 'anti-military'. I've repeated myself too many times now to think that the message will actually sink in, but I am not anti-military at all. I have a couple of mates back home who are in the Royal Marines who I respect greatly for their abilities and sacrifices, and a friend here in the RNZAF. Not to mention the squaddies and friends within AH who are active or past members of the armed forces.

Despite your attempt to turn my comment around in an attempt to flame me, my response to the OP was completely honest.

As a father, if I had made a choice between my family and some kind of job (military or otherwise) which would lead me to be away from home for a long time, and then came back to find my wife had been cheating on me and my child calling another man 'Daddy', then I would feel I had made a very bad choice.