I struggled and continue to struggle with this. I framed it slightly different, however. I thought of it as "sequence". What sequence of acm leads to success in different situations. And for me at least, I had to literally try out different permutations to find some that worked. I'm light years ahead of where I was, but far, far away from where I want to be. I've resigned myself to spending time each week experimenting with sequences. I'll pick a situation that bothered me, and work out a better way to have handled it. I look at a lot of film each week. I've found that a lot of it is also aircraft-dependent. A sequence that works well in an FM2 just won't work in a 190-D, and vice versa. So there's almost an infinite number of sequences to explore and practice.
That's pretty much how I learned as well, just trying things out and seeing what works and what doesn't. The sequence thought should never be a "set in stone" kind of thing. There will be times when a sequence of moves that worked one time doesn't work under the current circumstances. Always have a plan b,c and d ready and adapt to the situation.
There is a an easy way to cut down on what moves might work bases on the plane matchup. A 190D9 will never turn with a Spit 5 but it is faster and climbs better, so you can already check off turning maneuvers as things that won't work, but things like "the rope", yo-yo's, extending to gain separation and speed, and vertical maneuvers may very well work. Remember that the plan you used to kill the Spit 5 the first time might not work a second time under different conditions such as a difference in speed. The first time you might have been co-alt and you had a speed advantage so you used the vertical to get above the spit 5 and kill him with BnZ tactics. The second time you come across him you might be low on speed while climbing out and he's already at altitude above you and with speed. In this case going vertical will get you killed, so it's time to adapt to the situation and go with plan b, c, or d. Leveling off to gain speed, and waiting for the spit to make a move might be the best choice in this situation as he has the altitude and speed, therefore he dictates when the fight starts. Stay defensive until you get your speed up and see an opportunity to put your planes strengths to use over your opponents weaknesses.
There are literally thousands, if not millions, or variables in play during any one fight. Even when you narrow it down to a specific 1v1 matchup, at a certain altitude and at a certain speed, with both planes in these parts of the airspace flying in these directions, there are still dozens of different things you have to consider going into the fight.
