In the late seventies early eighties I had a carpenter working for me named Lonnie B. He was a big buff likable character. Unfortunately he couldn't decide on whether he wanted to be a carpenter or a criminal. Time went by and drugs and his criminality won out.
He was working for me and got an advance on his wages from me and big surprise I didn't see him for about two years when He sat down next to me at our favorite watering hole and said hello and asked for a job. I immediately pointed out to him that I had lent him money only for him to disappear. He then told me this amazing tale of woe.
Lonnie's Tale
Lonnie and Junkie Jim had stopped to buy gas. Junkie Jim went to pay the teller leaving Lonnie by the vehicle. While looking around Lonnie noticed that there was a pet store in the adjacent parking lot. He had legal fees over $2500 and his lawyer had told him he would settle for a cockatoo. So Lonnie knowing that he would probably need a lawyer again went into the pet store. Where he found a cockatoo. He was wearing an army field jacket with no tee shirt underneath it. So he grabs the cockatoo sticks the bird underneath his arm and walks out making his getaway. Unbeknown to him Junkie Jim did a slip and fall and had called for a ambulance and the police had arrived. So this set the scene for his big getaway. He comes hot footin up to the car and the cockatoo is biteing him on the chest and yelling" help me, help me" and that is how Lonnie got arrested for grand theft bird. I thought was a great story and after few drinks rehired him and he worked off his debt only to go his own way.
A couple years past and it was a rainy day I stopped in to a restaurant to have breakfast. There was two sheriff's setting at the counter. The senior officer was telling the younger one. That there he was in the parking lot when Lonnie B came running up with a cockatoo under his field jacket yelling help me, help me .
So Lonnie's tale of woe was true. He kept getting arrested for more serious crimes and kept doing longer stretches.
An after thought this all occurred in Victorville California on the edge of the Mojave Desert. Average summertime temperatures are between 90 and 110°. His normal attire was cut off jeans, flip flops, army field jacket and no shirt. The army field jacket made it easy to staff things in his pockets while in the store.
