I agree that many players don't appreciate how good the flight model is but in fact it does teach you enough to really fly.
Flight models of other games are good enough for that, too. All of them are better than pre-computer synthetic flight training devices, which were certified to be good enough to be used to learn flying. As for game-play, there is a level of "good enough". It's nice that the planes match available data, but that only helps to limit bbs crying, it doesn't help to make the game more entertaining.
The engine management model is simplified on purpose because those things are second nature to a fighter pilot by the time he gets into combat. So flying real aircraft does require additional training.
Given the low number of hours at least some war-time pilots had I doubt anything became second nature. And it's not only the engine. Automatic fuel system, arbitrary head movements, no gun-jams, can't blow tires on landing, ... Plus the way we're abusing the planes by continuously firewalling throttles, killing ignition mid-flight, spinning with flaps-down, loading them beyond MOTM ... I'm not trying to argue that these things should be real, but just asking why the flight-model needs to be an exception and be real beyond simply "good enough", if almost everything else isn't.
Wouldn't a player looking for "real" look elsewhere for various other aspects of the simulation, even if the flight-model might be somewhat inferior? Are limitations of a good-enough flight model noticeable to a new player, or even any player without actual expertise in the flight regime where the simulation deviates from reality?
What do you think is wrong with trim tabs?
Trim tabs deflect from the control surface to create a force on the control surface. They do so by being moved in the opposite direction of the intended deflection (e.g., to trim the elevator up the trim tab needs to go down). This decreases the effective size of the control surface. As a result, at full deflection of the control surface it is more effective when trimmed against that deflection. In AH the biggest effect is achieved by full deflection and trimmed to support the direction of the deflection. Its not noticeable in most situations because stick position is force, not actual control surface position (*) and deflection is limited by the pilots strength, but in situations where the deflection is not limited by the strength of the pilot (slow speed, low force needed for full deflection) and where authority is limited (easiest tried in inverted flight) the behavior can be observed.
Does it matter for a game? Not really. Where's the transition from "bad" flight-model to "good enough" flight-model? How does the "best" flight-model help to persuade a player to play this instead of something else?
(*) add to the list of non-real things above, but that cannot be solved in software, it needs a different kind of joystick.