God Hangtime, thats awful. I'm so sorry for your loss. My first dog was 19 years old when we had to put him to sleep (cancer)- after that long it is as bad as losing a member of the family. Take heart, your sadness will fade eventually, and you'll be left with fond memories of all the stupid things your cat did that made you laugh (well, at least that is how it is with my dog). Best wishes and good luck.