First things first: Creamo, piss off.
Having got that out of the way, we can begin!
Reading through these boards over the last few weeks/months, it seems that the UK is often accused of being a nanny state. I wonder if those propagating those ideas have ever visited Britain, as such suggestions more often seem to be substantiated by quotes from sources like the Guardian newspaper. A more balanced view can be achieved by visiting both countries.
In the case of motor vee-hickles, I believe the opposite is true. I think American drivers are nannied more than we are. If you know different, please post back here! I have a feeling you will
Let’s consider a normal/average American car. I do believe that in most US states, the wearing of seat belts is obligatory, just as it has been here since 1983 – cuts hospital workload, but has led to a shortage of organ donors. I can remember hiring an American vee-hickle which had a most bizarre seatbelt mechanism. When I opened the driver’s door, I found that the seatbelt had got caught on the door – no, wait – it was actually
attached to the door. The guy that was with me said
“it’s OK, just get in and close the door”. And when I did, the seatbelt kind of ran round a track mounted on the door, so as to finish up behind my left shoulder!
“That’s to stop you from forgetting to wear your seatbelt”, I was told. WTF!? But what about the all important lap belt? Ah, that still has to be fastened manually.
Oh, great. The lap belt is arguably more important. In a crash without a lap belt, my lower body would be unrestrained and slide forward, and my neck might well finish with the diagonal belt wrapped round it! Nice going. But I had to admit the “automatic” seatbelt was a novel idea, even if crap. When I reverse a car, I typically release the seatbelt so that I can turn my body to look out the rear window. Not an option on this vee-hickle, as Nanny has decided that I must wear my shoulder belt at all times, even for reversing.
Next order of business is to check that all mirrors are adjusted properly. Drivers door mirror OK, rear view mirror set to day view mode and adjusted OK, and... what’s this on the passenger side door mirror?
Objects in Mirror are closer than they appear... ? Ah yes, it’s actually quite a good idea, that mirror. It is a convex mirror to give a wider angle of view, but of course objects in a convex mirror look small from a distance, and grow quite quickly as they approach. I remember pissing about with mirrors in Physics lessons at school, and learning about their various properties. In the US, they recognise that not everyone did Physics at school, and so a driver will be reminded of the properties of a convex mirror every time he/she drives. LOL! Thank you, Nanny.
Hehe – two nannyisms, and we haven’t even moved yet! Well, I only have to put in the key and turn it ready to start, and the car starts chiming – probably to remind me to fasten the other half of that seatbelt. The engine starts first time, but then I notice a sign that says something like
”apply footbrake before shifting out of Park”. On an automatic car, that makes perfect sense, otherwise the car might well start creeping forward, assuming DRIVE had been selected. But Nanny doesn’t trust the driver to have an ounce of sense, and there’s a sign to tell you to apply the footbrake before shifting out of Park. Not only that, but there’s a locking mechanism that physically prevents the transmission lever being shifted from PARK until you HAVE got your foot on the brake! Thank you, Nanny.
Three nannyings, and we haven’t even moved yet. But things are looking up. Driving in the US is generally quite good. I like the road system there, but the speed limits are a bit draconian in places. I always remember that federally mandated double nickel, the 55mph speed limit – anywhere in the US. That has now gone, but other speed limits remain, and are rigorously enforced. Along an urban road, it might be 35mph, but with a sign saying that it’s 20mph when children are present. Well I would have thought it makes perfect sense to slow down when children are present. They’re often talking to each other and not paying attention to the road, or else they have a personal stereo stuck in their ears and do not hear approaching traffic. But even if you do not agree, Nanny has spoken – you
will reduce speed to 20mph. I love those yellow school buses, with the side mounted stop sign.
Damned sensible idea, actually.
After driving about 100 miles, my relaxation is disturbed by three frantic chimes from the car. I’m low on gas. Or at least the car thinks so. I don’t like to trust fuel gauges on unknown cars (unless it’s a German or Japanese car) so I refuel, and then realise that there was actually a quantity of around
six gallons of fuel remaining when the car chimed. But better to be safe. Now here’s a surprise. I like to read the driver’s handbook of a car I don’t know – to find out things like the grade of fuel to be used and where the filler release is... but what’s this? A book the size of the New Testament! Everything you could want to know is in there – even instructions on how to drive – LOL! It even advises against driving after drinking, and describes the problem of drink-driving as
”America’s National Tragedy”. That’s weird. The Yanks keep insinuating that alcohol is a UK problem. Well, I did my own research and will come back to this later. Then I get to the part about driving on remote roads. The manual cautions against allowing the car to drift from the paved area onto the ground at the side of the road. Duh! Talk about stating the bleedin’ obvious.
But then the text goes on to advise what to do if that happens!
”Carefully steer the vee-hickle back towards the roadway until all four wheels are on the paved area”. ROFL! Can you imagine it – John and Jane are out for a Sunday afternoon spin, when John allows the vee-hickle to leave the paved area. John:
”Gee, Honey, I plumb let the car roll into the dirt here. Would you hand me the driver’s manual so I can figure out what to do about this?” Jane:
”Why no, Honey. I need to read up on how to open the glove compartment”. 
The text goes on to say that if the drop between the roadway and the ground at the side is more than four inches, the situation is more serious.
”This can result in a hazardous condition”, proffers the text. LOL! No kidding! No further advice is offered, and probably none needed... Oh well, Nanny did her best.
I always wonder what all the fuss is about speed limits. On some state roads (similar to an English B road or minor A road without dual carriageway), the limit might be 55mph. But up ahead lie some curves. There will be one or more signs advising of the existence of the curves, but in addition to that, the speed limit is reduced to 50mph – just for those curves – and then goes back to 55mph. Why? Isn’t the driver allowed to figure out that if there are curves that he might need to slow down? Apparently not. Nanny has the last word!
Back to that alcohol thing. It’s unwise to drive after drinking, I’m sure you will agree. But thousands of people on both sides of the Atlantic do just that, and many deaths result each year. I was interested to know HOW many, and it would seem that US alcohol related vee-hickle accidents far exceed those here in the UK.
This is a link I found that said that US alcohol related road deaths in 1997 had dropped to an all time low - a mere 16,189. And
this is a document that seems to indicate that in the UK there were 540 alcohol related road deaths - c1998. These were a couple of Google searches I did. Allowing for the disparity of the UK/US population size, it seems to me at first glance that the US has about eight times as many alcohol related road deaths as we do! And that's despite the fact that Nanny says you can't drink alcohol until age 21. But...
...alcohol in a bottle sitting on a shelf is not responsible for an accident! Hehe - over to Mr. Toad at the Ministry of Silly Stats.
