AH song adaptions/parodys

[Shane]

here are a few i've done over time, if anyone esle has any, put 'em here in this thread.

[Shane]

"Kill Agains Island"

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful blip
That started from this local host
Aboard this tiny chip
The user was a mighty flying man
His ISP reliable and sure
5 packets were sent out that day
For an internet routing tour
An internet routing tour



The internet started getting rough
The tiny ISP was tossed
If not for the courage of the peerage crew
The packets would be lost
The packets would be lost
The flyer set down on the beach of this
Uncharted desert isle

To kill again
They're dweebies, true
The boom and zoomer
And his life
The buffer staaaaaaaarr
The spit-dweeb and the stang that ran
Here on Kill Again's Isle.

<30 mins or so of humorous flights>

Now this is the tale of our flying man
He'll play for a long, long time
He'll have to shake the best of wings
Turning on a dime
He's first-rate, and slippery, too
Trying his very best
To make his enemies uncomfortable
In their hornet's nest
No vox, no stick,
No 3d art, not a single luxury
Like any unwired residence
It's primitive as can be
So join us each week my friends
And you're sure to die in a while
By the mouse-flying experten
Here on Kill Again's Isle

[Shane]

Whining here is Painful

(Theme from A*H*G*F)

Through early morning posts I see,
Fantasies of things as they ought to be,
The flames that are withheld for me,
I don't realize and I can't see...


[REFRAIN]:


That whining here is painful.

It should make me feel so shameful.

And I must beat and believe it, if it's cheese.


I try to find a way to prove,
All the BS ways that nikis move,
With that ever-present UFO groove,
But now I know that i'm a doof, and...


[REFRAIN]

The game of smack is hard to play,
I'm gonna lose it anyway.
Back in the forum I'll try to bray,
But this is all I have to post today.


[REFRAIN]

The only way to win is to try and gang,
And use some Luftweenie, sturm un drang,
And no one still gives a a dang,
For that's the only drum to bang.


[REFRAIN]

The facts they know, won't pierce my skull.
It doesn't hurt because it's bull.
But as the circle rotates to full,
The posts grow longer...until a lull, but...


[REFRAIN]

A spitwit once requested me,
to answer questions that are key.
Is it to be or not to be?
And I replied 'I'm glad you asked me!'


[REFRAIN]


'Cause whining here is painful.

It should make me feel so shameful.

And I must beat and believe it, if it's cheese.

...And you can do the same thing if you please.

[Shane]

"Without Me"

Three ganging lamers go round the ack side,
round the ack side, round the ack side.
Three ganging lamers go round the ack side,
round the ack side, round the ack side.
 
Ooooohhhhh!

Guess who's smack, smack again
Shaney's smack, grab some friends,
Guess who's smack, guess who's smack,
guess who's smack, guess who's smack,
guess who's smack, guess who's smack,
guess who's smack...

Verse 1:

I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
See Oopsy no more they want Shaney
I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Shaney, then this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard snicker
Some skills that will jump on their head quicker
Then a mock when i get knocked offline
By the Fugger when I'm not cooperating
When I'm knocking the lamers while he's operating "Hey"
You waited this long to stop debating
Cuz I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know you got a job Mr. Anonymity
But your weakarse morals are complicating
So the monitors won't let me be
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to shut me down on HTC
But it feels so empty without me
So come on drip, mask on my lips
Fug that, smack on your skills and some on your wits
And get ready cuz this chit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my timeouts, "Fug you wimpy!"

Chorus:

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just squelch me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Channel 1 feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody just squelch me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Channel 1 feels so empty without me

Verse 2:

Little gangers, dweebs acting up-ended
Embarrassed, their skills dead-ended
They start feeling all offended,
Til someone comes along on a mission and yells "lamer"
A smacker, smack is scary, could start a devolution,
Pollutin' the air waves a rebel
So let me just revel and parse,
In the fact that I got everyone ragging my arse,
And it's a disaster such a catastrophe
For you to see so dam much of my six  you horde for me?
Well I'm back, fix your bent antenna
Tune it in and then I'm gonna enter
Into the front of your buffer like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your radio and besting
Testing "Attention Please"
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
Here's my monthly fee, my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Chorus 2x

Verse 3:

A HO-git an ack-twit,
I go ratatat with anybody who thinks they've got it
one on one or even two, you can get your bass kicked
Worse than them little tiny wit blastards,
And horde-ee, you can get stomped by a bored me,
You little ganging dweebs can slow me
You don't know me, you're too swarmy
Let go, it's over, nobody learns ACM
Now lets go, just give me the signal
I will be there with a whole list full of new moves
I'll smack or whack you, suspend you with my 'tude
Ever since warpbirdies turned into prudes
But sometimes the text just seems,
Everybody only wants to squelch me
So this must mean I'm too full,
But its just me I'm just truthful
Though I'm not the first king of smackery
I am the worst thing since hackery,
To do smack so noisily
And get myself booted regularly (Hey)
There's a concept that works
20 million other smackers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
Channel 1 will be so empty without me

Chorus 2x

Come die lamers lamers la, la la la la la, la la
Come die lamers lamers la, la la la la la, la la

Chumps!

[Shane]

Dig if you will the squeakers
Engaged in whineage on the BBS
The foam of their rants cover us
Can you my friend
Can you picture this?
Scream all you want of a dorktard
A bandwidth of waste in bloom
Animal strikes righteous poses
He sneers at the heat
The heat between dorks and tards
How can Skuzzy leave this standing?
Among a board so cold? (so cold)
Maybe we're just too demeaning
Maybe just like Air warrior, too bold?
Maybe they're just like War Birdies
Cheese never gratified (cheese never gratified)
Why do they fling dung at each other?
This is what it sounds like, when dorks whine
Touch if you will on Flight Models
See how the board trembles with snide
Don't make Skuzzy lock you
There's too much fun inside
How could you leave us just hanging
Among a board so cold? (so cold)
Maybe we're just too demeaning
Myabe just like Air warrior, too bold?
Maybe they're just like war birdies
Cheese never gratified (cheese never gratified)
Why do they fling dung at each other?
This is what it sounds like, when dorks whine (when dorks whine, dorks whine)
Dorklings don't whine, don't whine, don't whine.

[Shane]

Little Niki

I knew a dweeb lame Niki, I guess you could say he was a HO fiend
I met him over mindanao spraying from a loaded magazine
He said, "How'd you like to HO one time?"
And I could not resist when I saw little Niki lined

He couldn't fly his way out of an air castle, straight-line in the sky
He was such a newbie lemming, not a clue he could find to buy
He said, "Turn your plane on the plotted line"
His guns reached out and I knew it was the time

Ohhh, Niki!

At 1k out I started leading, or maybe it was immelmann
I can't tell you what it did for me, but his plane will never touch down to land
His HOness can't kick my behind, oh, he'll moan and start to whine
But he'll sure enough, sure enough, HO again next time

Dweeby Niki, ohhhh!

He ended up in tower, his plane wasn't there
He looked all over, all he found was a note on an empty chair
It said, "Thank you 4 an easy time
Call me up whenever you wanna die"

Yeah, Niki, ohhh!
Oh, come back Niki, come back!
Ho dweeb gonna be wasting your time, time, time....

[SirLoin]

Here's a good one.

http://www.ropescourse.org/favorite.htm

Click on the song title..

[Shane]

Niki

Oh Niki, you're so lame
You're so lame with the headon game
Hey niki, hey niki

Oh Niki, you're so lame
You're so lame with the headon game
Hey niki, hey niki

Oh Niki, you're so lame
You're so lame with the headon game
Hey niki, hey niki

Hey niki!
You've been around a while, and you still try head on
You think you've got the game, but i think you've got it wrong
Why can't you learn to fight so you can take me on,  niki?

Cuz when you say you can, it always means you gang
You're making me so ill lamer, please lamer, prang
Every fight you still headon like a drone, niki

Oh niki, what a pity
You don't A C M
You make me immelmann
When you try to HO like them

Oh niki, you're so chitty,
Can't you A C M
It's guys like you, niki
Oh wish you flew niki, flew niki
Don't break apart, niki

Hey niki
Now when you take a headon shot, ya never gonna learn
Everytime I merge, I'll lead turn and you burn
Here's something of a clue, so don't say no, niki
So come on and try a move off plane if you can
Anyway you wanna try it you'll die like a man
Please, lamer, please, try to fly with a plan, niki

Oh niki, what a pity
You don't A C M
You make me immelmann
When you try to HO like them

Oh niki, you're so chitty,
Can't you A C M
It's guys like you, niki
Oh wish you flew niki, flew niki
Don't break apart, niki

Oh Niki, you're so lame
You're so lame with the headon game
Hey niki, hey niki

Oh Niki, you're so lame
You're so lame with the headon game
Hey niki, hey niki

Oh Niki, you're so lame
You're so lame with the headon game
Hey niki, hey niki

Oh niki, what a pity
You don't A C M
You make me immelmann
When you try to HO like them

Oh niki, you're so chitty,
Can't you A C M
It's guys like you, niki
Oh wish you flew niki, flew niki
Don't break apart, niki

Oh niki, what a pity
You don't A C M
You make me immelmann
When you try to HO like them

Oh niki, you're so chitty,
Can't you A C M
It's guys like you, niki
Oh wish you flew niki, flew niki
Don't break apart, niki
 
Oh niki, what a pity
You don't A C M
It's dweebs like you, niki

[Shane]

“I RITE THE COADS”, a song by HiTech;
With all of the AH related songs that have been written lately, HiTech himself became inspired and decided to take a shot at it. I can’t tell you how I came across this, but clearly it’s HiTech’s work.


“I RITE THE COADS”
by HiTech (Sung to Berry Manelo’s “I RITE THE SONGS”)

I've ben a-live for-ev-er,
and I rote the var-y furst coad.
I put the wuns and the zeros to-geth-er,
I’m coad-munkey, and I rite the coads.

I rite the coads__that make the HO dweebs sting.
I rite the coads__of buffs and Kurt Tank’s wings.
I rite the coads_ that mayk the spit gurls fly.
I rite the coads,__I rite the coads.

“Mye 190’s got a porked front veiw,”
“and your 109’s have got no soul.”
Now, wen I listen two these Luftwhiner cries
I think these complaynts are gitting vary old.

I rite the coads__that make the HO dweebs sting.
I rite the coads__of buffs and Kurt Tank’s wings.
I rite the coads_ that mayk the spit gurls cry.
I rite the coads,__I rite the coads.

Oh, my coads make El-Gays dance__and give slow Stangs no chance,
And I wrote some Yaw 'n' Roll___so you__ can move.
Mustangs fil your hart,__ well, I fixed the El-Gays to rip-em-apart.
Bytes frum me, hits for you, bytes frum you, hits on me,
it's a wirld of fried Sim-Ponies.

I rite the coads__that make the HO dweebs sting.
I rite the coads__of buffs and Kurt Tank’s wings.
I rite the coads_ that mayk the spit gurls fly.
I rite the coads,__I rite the coads.
I’m coad-munkey, and I rite the coads.

eskimo

[-dead-]

Adapted from the Teletubbies Theme Song

Over the hills and far away,
Dweebytubbies come to play.
Time for Dweebytubbies,
Time for Dweebytubbies,
Time for Dweebytubbies
N1ksywiksy. "N1ksywiksy!"
Spitsy. "Spitsy!"
Lala. "Lala!"
HO. "HO!"
Dweebytubbies. "Dweebytubbies!"
Say, Heeeeee-lo! "Eh-HO!"
N1ksywiksy, Spitsy. Lala. HO.
Dweebytubbies. "Dweebytubbies!
Say Heeeeeee ......... "Uh-oh!"
Where have the Dweebytubbies gone?
Where have the Dweebytubbies gone?

[Kirin]

N1ksywiksy, Spitsy. Lala. HO.

LOL - so true!

[whgates3]

y'all should put together 'the AH men's choir' @ the next con

[Strange]

Now some people have too much time on their hand....Shane can be our next Emmem... how about special requests.. I need a La-7 song..   Shane

[Montezuma]

Originally posted by Shane

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just squelch me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Channel 1 feels so empty without me

Nice one Shane

[Airhead]

When The Pizza Map Comes Around Again

When the pizza map comes around again
(Hurrah! Hurrah!)

The dweebs will all be happy then
(Hurrah! Hurrah!)

The buffs will hit every empty base
As the fighters chase them all over the place,

And we'll play bop-the-mole when
The pizza map comes around

When the pizza map comes around again
(Hurrah! Hurrah!)

The whining will start a new refrain
(Hurrah! Hurrah!)

As the buffers run up their buffing points
The NIK pilots cry as they smoke some joints

And the board will be spammed by
World War Two Online

When the pizza map comes around again
(Hurrah! Hurrah!)

We'll  call collect to Hi Tech then
(Hurrah! Hurrah!)

We will squeak and we'll cry and we'll piss and we'll moan
We will refuse to hang up the phone,

We will drive them crazy
When the pizza map's back again.