This has been debated frequently. I am of the opinion that both friendly collisions and killshooter should be turned off in the main arena, just as it is in some scenarios and TODs. On the other side of the fence are those who claim that those measures are necessary to ward off such things as the frustrated dweeb who decides to continually shoot down his countrymates, or other such behavior.
One thing I find rather amazing about your description of the problem is that you *repeatedly* were in a position that you were occupying the exact same space as another friendly aircraft ~300 yards on a bogey's six. In the year and a half I've been playing this game, I can count on less than 5 fingers the number of times I've died to kill shooter, and even fewer fingers are needed to count the number of times the situation you describe has happened to me.
In any case, that other friendly didn't just "appear" out of thin air and occupy the same space as you. Both of you had to manouver into position to get behind that bogey, and I find it hard, actually I find it impossible, to believe that you both followed the exact same line to target on multiple occasions, such that you could not be aware of his presence.