Author Topic: Report from GRU 04/09/03  (Read 391 times)

Offline GRUNHERZ

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Report from GRU 04/09/03
« on: April 09, 2003, 10:51:21 AM »
LOL Even they cant come up with more lies. Frankly I was dissapointed - I logged on the article hoping to read at least some infidel invader troops were killed by falling Saddam statues..          

Enjoy!  :)    

Final Report: Uncensored Info on Iraq War from the Russian GRU:

RAMZAJ DISCONTINUES OPERATION
Previous Report Here
04/08/03

 
Events of the last 2 days have made further work of Ramzaj group in its current format impossible.

With the embassy personnel and journalists having left Iraq and most of Iraqi information services evacuated from Baghdad, analysis of the situation in Baghdad and Iraq as a whole becomes ineffective.
The quickly changing course of street fights leaves any informational updates far behind. Direct TV broadcasts are far more evident than any analytics.
At the same time, we do not have the right to reveal classified, “top secret” information.
Apart from that, our actions meet increasing opposition from the official quarts and in fact are turning into confrontation the outcome of which is not difficult to forecast.
Therefore we have to discontinue our work and thank everybody for taking part in the project.

In conclusion we would like to say:

All the “updates” came out from a compact group formed a few years ago in the framework of a special service. The group used to work for the government for a long time but all its members have left the service and now act as an independent analytical group that has kept some capabilities. This gives an answer to the most common question – about the sources of our information.

We participated in the ongoing events on a “non-profit” basis and had no object other than to stand the US-British informational blockade of the war in Iraq.

Our updates were not genuine materials from any of Russian or other special services, but rather an “intellectual product” of the group itself, product of its operative, informational and analytical abilities. But compiling the updates we used materials available from our friends from special information structures. The very form “operativnaya informatsiya” never claimed to be “military information updates” but served as additional data for self-dependent analysis.

The main goal of the project was to present intelligible military analytics on the war in Iraq, which is currently missing, to the informational space. We had both success and obvious fails along the way.

We are grateful to the iraqwar.ru and forum.vif2.ru administration that took the risk and burden of working with us and we understand how many problems they have to endure because of that.
With all responsibility we state that no messages, letters, appeals and other materials, apart from the daily “updates” on iraqwar.ru and forum.vif2.ru were made by Ramzaj group and any other statement in our name is nothing but mystification.
The author with the nickname “Kondor” is the only authorized source of information about the group and its “official contact person”. In cases of uncertainty or “nickname cloning” authentication is possible using his personal photo that supplements one of images published on iraqwar.ru and comes as its logical continuation.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2003, 11:10:36 AM by GRUNHERZ »

Offline Yeager

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Report from GRU 04/08/03
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2003, 12:27:32 PM »
So it was afterall, propoganda.  Im telling you, my dealings with russians on the net has never been an excercise in honesty.

Dont trust em.  Nyet!
"If someone flips you the bird and you don't know it, does it still count?" - SLIMpkns

Offline AKIron

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Report from GRU 04/08/03
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2003, 12:41:25 PM »
"The quickly changing course of street fights leaves any informational updates far behind."

Interpretation: We weren't lying about coalition troops getting their tulips whupped before, they just suddenly and inexplicably got a lot better.
Here we put salt on Margaritas, not sidewalks.

Offline funkedup

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Re: Report from GRU 04/09/03
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2003, 12:45:50 PM »
Allow me apply the bull****-to-English translator.

Quote

Events of the last 2 days have made further work of Ramzaj group in its current format impossible.

With the embassy personnel and journalists having left Iraq and most of Iraqi information services evacuated from Baghdad, analysis of the situation in Baghdad and Iraq as a whole becomes ineffective.
The quickly changing course of street fights leaves any informational updates far behind. Direct TV broadcasts are far more evident than any analytics.
At the same time, we do not have the right to reveal classified, “top secret” information.
Apart from that, our actions meet increasing opposition from the official quarts and in fact are turning into confrontation the outcome of which is not difficult to forecast.
Therefore we have to discontinue our work and thank everybody for taking part in the project.


The reality of the crushing coalition victory is now so obvious that I can no longer fool even the stupidest observers with my made-up reports.  I used up all my sick leave at McDonalds and must return to work now.

Quote
All the “updates” came out from a compact group formed a few years ago in the framework of a special service. The group used to work for the government for a long time but all its members have left the service and now act as an independent analytical group that has kept some capabilities. This gives an answer to the most common question – about the sources of our information.


I used to be a janitor in the GRU cafeteria.

Quote
We participated in the ongoing events on a “non-profit” basis and had no object other than to stand the US-British informational blockade of the war in Iraq.


I couldn't get any of those cheapskate lefty websites to pay me for my work.

Quote
Our updates were not genuine materials from any of Russian or other special services, but rather an “intellectual product” of the group itself, product of its operative, informational and analytical abilities. But compiling the updates we used materials available from our friends from special information structures. The very form “operativnaya informatsiya” never claimed to be “military information updates” but served as additional data for self-dependent analysis.


I pulled all these "facts" out of my ass.

Quote
The main goal of the project was to present intelligible military analytics on the war in Iraq, which is currently missing, to the informational space. We had both success and obvious fails along the way.


The main goal was complete denial of the truth of the operation, that the coalition easily crushed Saddam's army, and liberated a grateful Iraqi populace.

Quote
We are grateful to the iraqwar.ru and forum.vif2.ru administration that took the risk and burden of working with us and we understand how many problems they have to endure because of that.


Cheap bastards didn't pay me!

Quote
With all responsibility we state that no messages, letters, appeals and other materials, apart from the daily “updates” on iraqwar.ru and forum.vif2.ru were made by Ramzaj group and any other statement in our name is nothing but mystification.
The author with the nickname “Kondor” is the only authorized source of information about the group and its “official contact person”. In cases of uncertainty or “nickname cloning” authentication is possible using his personal photo that supplements one of images published on iraqwar.ru and comes as its logical continuation.


All that stuff I typed on the boards when I was drunk - IT WASN'T ME!!!

Offline funkedup

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Report from GRU 04/08/03
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2003, 05:29:38 PM »
Punt for Grunny :)

Offline GRUNHERZ

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Report from GRU 04/08/03
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2003, 06:07:53 PM »
Thanks for even more comedy Funked... Yea I bet he does work at the Moscow McDondals. :D

I never trust the russians. They have everything going for them to boast and lie.

They are arrogant.
They are slavic.
They have an inferiority complex.
They are accustomed to communist idea of "truth."

Offline Suave

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Report from GRU 04/08/03
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2003, 06:11:54 PM »
What does being slavic have to do with it ?

Offline GRUNHERZ

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Report from GRU 04/08/03
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2003, 06:29:16 PM »
I just know well enough not to trust slavic people too much. :)

I think we tend to be dishonest and boastful.

Offline midnight Target

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Report from GRU 04/08/03
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2003, 09:31:35 PM »
Golden Funked... ROFL.