Got this e-mail and thought it was funny enough to post here. Enjoy.
> >Billy Connelly on "Things I hate about everybody...."
> >
> >1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where
> >
> >my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my trousers fly
when
> >
> >I ask where the toilet is?
> >
> >2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room
>for
> the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the
> >channel manually.
> >
> >3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
> >F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
> >
> >4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. >Why
> the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people really
> >do this? Who and where are they?
> >
> >5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No, you
> >dick-head, I paid 15 dollars to come to the movies to stare at the
f*cking
> >floor.
> >
> >6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a
> >choice there, did you sunshine?
> >
> >7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
>there
> has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
> >must have been something before it.
> >
> >8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest
damn
> >
> >thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?
> >
> >9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
> >yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?
> >
> >10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
>what
> did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
> >
> >11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's
> >really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
> >
> >12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image
> >
> >I really didn't need.
> >
> >13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you
insert
> >the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a Mc Chicken
> >Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks...........Well I'll have a
> >McStraw and jam it up your McArse you McF*cking McTosser.
> >
> >14. When you involved in a accident and someone asks "are you
> >alright?"..."Yes, I'm fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off
> >then."
