If I were to ever get a cat (unlikely), and it shat on my carpet, I'd probably shave it so that it learned not to do that anymore. A hairless cat would have to be so humiliated that it wouldn't dare drop a loaf on the carpet anymore.
It might take him a while to associate pooing on the carpet with getting shaved, but he'd get the idea sooner or later. And it'd be pretty damn funny in the meantime. Except for cleaning up the ****.