We mounted an expedition to Alaska to do some groundbreaking scientific research. When we arrived, much to our dismay, we found the salmon population to have been depleted to a record low, you couldn't even order salmon in a restaurant. We visiting a salmon hatchery, only to find a bunch of workers lollygagging with nothing to do, no fish anywhere in sight. The entire economic structure of Alaska was on the verge of collapse and we knew we had to personally save these fish from the imminent throes of extinction. We searched and searched for any species of the endangered fish, we combed the most unforgiving and desolate reaches of the final frontier, only to find a pile of salmon carcasses. Luckily it seemed as though the fish had been dead for only a couple of weeks, so we knew it wasn't too late, but we had to act fast. As fish eggs are fertilized after they leave the womb of the female, we knew that Steve-O's mouth would serve as the perfect incubator.Steve-O crouched in anticipation on a nearby rock as Pontius selected the healthiest looking corpses. With incredible scientific instinct, Swiss-like precision and no hesitation whatsoever, Pontius squeezed the dead female salmon and proceeded to run his finger down its belly, shooting literally hundreds of orange colored eggs through the air and into Steve-O's mouth, many of them ricocheting about his tonsils. Once the filthy mess of caviar filled Steve-O's mouth, Pontius wasted no time before performing the same ritual on the male counterpart. Lifeless yet sleek, we knew what would erupt from this fish would be no caviar. With a brand of marksmanship that would put any postman to shame, Pontius unloaded the "money shot" of the century into Steve-O's face.Every last egg was surely fertilized, but the late male fish just wouldn't quit. Steve-O's face looked like a glazed donut, eyes glued shut and just gobs of fish cum drizzling off his chin. The smell of victory was overwhelming as Steve-O gargled the stenchy, semen-covered eggs and, finally, spat a mouthful of healthy zygotes into the ocean.These two wildermen were the last chance those fish had and their legacy will surely live on, thanks to Pontius and Steve-O's ongoing research and commitment to the conversation of nature. By Steve-O and Chris PontiusIt's actually true, well the part about filling my mouth with salmon eggs and shooting fish cum all over my face. Sorry guys, but I'm not ashamed, I did it in the name of science and conversation. -Steve-O
Originally posted by Octavius Apparently most of their stunts are done naked...
