Three men arrived at the Pearly Gates and asked Saint Peter for permission to enter.
Saint Peter: I'm sorry guys, but Heaven is a bit crowded at the moment. We're only letting in people who have died especially tragic deaths. Why don't you tell me the story of how you came to pass on, and then I'll make a decision as to whether or not you may enter.
First man: Well, Saint Peter, I had suspected for some time that my wife was having an affair with another man during the middle of the day while I was away at work. So, one day I came home early in an attempt to catch them red-handed. I found my wife in the bed, nude, but there was no sign of her lover. I searched the house in a growing rage, but found nothing. Finally, I went out onto the balcony of our fourth floor apartment. Suddenly I spotted a man's hands grasping the concrete railing. Jumping up onto the railing, I jumped up and down on his fingers until he lost his grip. After hearing the impact, I looked down to the parking lot below, expecting to see his lifeless form splattered on the pavement. To my surprise, he was still alive! So I ran into the kitchen, man-handled the refrigerator out to the railing, shoved it over, and watched as it flattened him. But the anger and exertion were too much for me. I suffered a heart-attack and died.
Saint Peter: That is indeed tragic! We may just have to let you in. And what is your story?
Second Man: Your Saintliness, I had just moved into a new apartment on the fifth floor of a high-rise apartment building. After unpacking, I stepped out onto the balcony to admire the view. Suddenly, the rail gave way and I fell over the edge. Luckily, I was able to grab the railing of the balcony below me on the fourth floor. Stunned, I was attempting to gather my wits, when a madman appeared on the balcony. Raving and cursing, he began to jump up and down on my hands, causing me to fall to the pavement below. I came to presently, thankful to be alive. While taking stock of my injuries, I glanced up to see a refrigerator fall out of the sky, crushing the life out of me.
Saint Peter: My, my! That is also a tragic tail. We may have to let you into Heaven as well.
Third Man: Well, Saint Peter, there I was...naked...and in a refrigerator when...
Regards, Shuckins
