Just because I have no life, I will discuss each point of tardness.
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
None of my coworkers have body piercings. The ladies have ears. One guy has some jailhouse tats though.
2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
It's hard to get a house, but you can do it on $60k.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
Nobody rides a bus. We all drive cars. Remember the California traffic stereotype?
4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
I know several teachers. None of them have colored hair or nose rings or weird names.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
We have more people in jail for pot than any other thing.
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
I only know one lesbian couple, and they have dogs not babies.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
This one goes on the Seattle list.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
WTF is arugula?
9. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
No problems parking where I live.
10. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
I don't watch TV news so I wouldn't know.
11. Gas cost 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
Maybe 25 cents.
12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
I've never seen this. Maybe in SF?
13. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
Where I live he's more likely to be Mark McGwire or John Madden.
14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
Huh? We have high housing prices, remember?
15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
Anybody who has a hairdresser is a studmuffin. I do my own plumbing. My mailman is a man. Mary Kay WTF is that?
16. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2000".
It's true for a lot of the state. People aren't used to weather.
17. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
Who?
18. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
What are you doing hanging out at a playground, freakin pervert?
19. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
People in the Bay Area have no clue how to drive in rain. It's pathetic.
20. You AND your dog have therapists.
I hate dogs, filthy vermin, and I don't have a therapist.
