Author Topic: How do you know you're in Kalifornia?  (Read 4994 times)

Offline Ripsnort

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« on: November 12, 2003, 07:41:52 AM »
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
10. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
11. Gas cost 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
13. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
16. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2000".
17. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
18. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
19. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
20. You AND your dog have therapists.

Offline Sabre

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2003, 07:46:56 AM »
To true.
Sabre
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Offline Mickey1992

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2003, 07:48:43 AM »
Too true too.

Offline lazs2

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2003, 08:00:10 AM »
if none of you live there then how would you know if it were true or not?   You guys musta got cable or somethin huh?    Maybe a friend of a friend once drove all the way here and back?
lazs

Offline Ripsnort

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2003, 08:07:20 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
if none of you live there then how would you know if it were true or not?   You guys musta got cable or somethin huh?    Maybe a friend of a friend once drove all the way here and back?
lazs


Big Brother is watching....

Offline Mickey1992

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2003, 09:02:26 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
if none of you live there then how would you know if it were true or not?

I wasn't really commenting on Rip's post.  I was commenting on Sabre's. :aok

Offline Curval

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2003, 09:04:12 AM »
Well, I was there once.  Doesn't that make me an authority on California?
Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain

Offline CyranoAH

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Re: How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2003, 09:08:46 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Ripsnort
3. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.


I can relate to that. Last time I was in CA, the only chance I had to speak a different language than spanish was on the phone talking to my fiancée in catalan :D

Daniel

Offline AKIron

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2003, 09:09:59 AM »
I hear there's only women and liberals livin' there. :p
Here we put salt on Margaritas, not sidewalks.

Offline midnight Target

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #9 on: November 12, 2003, 09:12:15 AM »
California gets a bad rap. There are at least 4 distinct parts of the State that are very much unlike each other.

Southern Calif.  - Best fits Rips post.
Bay Area and surroundings - Way more liberal than SoCal, and maybe a little more intellectual.
Central Valley - More redneck types than you can shake a stick at. I went to college near here, we won the National Rodeo Title 3 years in a row.
Northern Cal. - Might as well be Oregon, only with sales tax.

Offline Ripsnort

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #10 on: November 12, 2003, 09:17:11 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
Bay Area and surroundings - Way more liberal than SoCal, and maybe a little more intellectual.
 


Thats an oxymoron if I eva heard one!

Offline Sixpence

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #11 on: November 12, 2003, 09:41:12 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
if none of you live there then how would you know if it were true or not?  


I slept at a holiday inn express last night.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2003, 10:26:44 AM by Sixpence »
"My grandaddy always told me, "There are three things that'll put a good man down: Losin' a good woman, eatin' bad possum, or eatin' good possum."" - Holden McGroin

(and I still say he wasn't trying to spell possum!)

Offline midnight Target

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #12 on: November 12, 2003, 10:38:08 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Ripsnort
Thats an oxymoron if I eva heard one!


Go look up oxymoron and get back to me.

Offline SunKing

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #13 on: November 12, 2003, 10:45:13 AM »
some of those are dead on.

Offline Swoop

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How do you know you're in Kalifornia?
« Reply #14 on: November 12, 2003, 10:52:45 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
if none of you live there then how would you know if it were true or not?  



I flew over it once.




P.S.  Got the mags today, reading :aok cheers bud.