Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter
After getting a haircut, Jesus checks into an apartment provided by the church. He is carrying firewood home, to carve into stakes, when a jeep pulls up and the Son of God is attacked; thirty atheists pour out of the jeep to surround our hero. Faced with very real proof of a divine force, who appears to have trained at Shaolin, the atheists get their butts whooped.
Mary then joins the effort. While finding some less conspicuous clothing for Christ they see Maxine and follow her back to a hospital. Dr. Praetorious is there, grafting the skin from slaughtered lesbians onto a comatose vampire. He also smears bits of this and that on his face while working.
Jesus and Mary give chase to Maxine and Johnny after the two vampires feast on a number of lesbians.Now things get really weird, as God summons Santos to help Jesus fight the vampires. The star of Mexican wrestling is accompanied by theme music when his private plane lands at the airport. The two chat amiably, then visit a nightclub. Christ takes the stage to perform and happens to glance in the mirror. Only Santos and Gloria appear! The club is filled with vampires! During the fight Santos is put to sleep by Maxine's magical powder, meaning that Jesus has no choice; he surrenders himself to the unholy defilers.
