Author Topic: whats the crappiest movie youve ever seen (Read 2604 times)

vorticon · « **Reply #90 on:** December 04, 2003, 04:40:06 PM »

mini d your the only person i know who could have a argument in this sort of thread...

anyway...you should all go and try get a copy of the young visitors...especcially if you need a way to get rid of that annoying relative...

Mini D · « **Reply #91 on:** December 04, 2003, 04:41:45 PM »

You need to read the thread a little more carefully then vorticon. There's what you say and what you see. The two seem to be quite different.

MiniD

Charon · « **Reply #92 on:** December 04, 2003, 04:46:41 PM »

One mans crap is another man's gold. If you like movies that are so bad they're great, and live in the area, check out B-Fest. It's like 24 hours straight of live MST3K.

A real stunner was shown a few years back: "Greasers Place." Just imagine Sydney from MASH as a hip 1972 funkster Vaudville Jesus set in the old west. Robert Downey Sr. (guess where Jr. got it from/he has a bit part as a child here too) and a few friends made it in 1972 with their own money in what had to be some sort of running coke binge. It even left the b-fest crowd stunned. Toni Basil was neat as a topless indian girl.

main Characters as noted at Bad Movies.org:

Quote

Jessy - Christ wearing a zoot suit. You don't believe me? Keep reading heretic; it just gets less coherent.

The Father - The lead part of the Trinity, he enjoys lazy afternoons shooting hapless women with his air rifle. As in pantomiming holding a rifle and firing, he doesn't shoot people with a real BB gun. Honestly, why would you think that? God walking around shooting people with a BB gun. Ludicrous!

The Holy Ghost - Bet you didn't know he wears a sheet (with holes cut out for the eyes and mouth) and black derby. Displays an attitude about his lot in theology and why not? Everybody understands the Father and the Son, but the Spirit gets little press.

Lamy Homo - He could be Greaser's illegitimate son. Keeps getting killed, but Jessy brings the little guy back to life every time. His description of the afterlife has me rather worried.

Cholera - Daughter to the evil Mr. Greaser and main attraction at the Palace. She might represent the Church of England. Maybe. I think. Regardless of that artsy stuff, she is capable of having multiple orgasms with all her clothes on.

The Pioneer Woman - When God first kills your family and then is continuously shooting you, life looks bleak. Bottom line is that she is wandering around the desert while God tortures her for no obvious reason. Guess whom she represents?

A French Padre, a Male Nun, the Agent Morris, Vernon, the Man Who Couldn't Crawl, and others - Man, this movie is weird.

Seaweedhead Greaser - Constipated owner of the theater/saloon who represents the Catholic Church. (I'm going to try and explain all this in the plot section, but you will soon understand why I'm doomed to failure.)

The Review

Priceless Dialog

And a clip

BTW, Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky" is pretty good too

Charon

SOB · « **Reply #93 on:** December 04, 2003, 04:49:54 PM »

LOL, apparently Mini didn't use enough smilies for the slower readers out there.

Skuzzy · « **Reply #94 on:** December 04, 2003, 04:50:27 PM »

The title of the the thread is, "whats the crappiest movie youve ever seen".

I stated what I think to fit that category of movies I have seen. From your description mini, I would say Pulp hit all three. I have sat through some movies I wish I hadn't, but just could not sit through that one. It was bad on so many levels I could not find anything to make me stay and watch it.

Oh,..I know you are baiting me. But what the heck.

I admit to not knowing what people find good about it as well.

Horn · « **Reply #95 on:** December 04, 2003, 04:57:32 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Skuzzy
I have since discovered that anything by Queentin Farentino is not worth my time or money.

Might I recommend "From Dawn to Dusk" as a Tarrentino movie that definitely has its moments.

h

Maniac · « **Reply #96 on:** December 04, 2003, 04:58:31 PM »

Quote

It was bad on so many levels I could not find anything to make me stay and watch it.

The heroine OD, was priceless!

Thrawn · « **Reply #97 on:** December 04, 2003, 05:04:00 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Holden McGroin
thirty atheists pour out of the jeep to surround our hero. Faced with very real proof of a divine force, who appears to have trained at Shaolin, the atheists get their butts whooped.

Ha HA! I made out with the head atheist chick at a dance club once, and flew the plane that Santos arrives in!

Some of my wife's and mine other friends from our goth days are in that movie as well.

And your wrong, it was the best movie EVAR!

Crappiest film? "Doom Generation"

Mathman · « **Reply #98 on:** December 04, 2003, 05:26:11 PM »

Boxing Helena. I am still trying to get those 90 minutes of my life back (or however long that craptacular movie was).

Sikboy · « **Reply #99 on:** December 04, 2003, 05:38:22 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Skuzzy
It was bad on so many levels I could not find anything to make me stay and watch it.

Oh,..I know you are baiting me. But what the heck.

I admit to not knowing what people find good about it as well.

But bacon tastes good... pork chops taste good...

-Sik

vorticon · « **Reply #100 on:** December 04, 2003, 09:58:21 PM »

bacon tastes best on ground beef patties that were fried in the bacon fat

wklink · « **Reply #101 on:** December 04, 2003, 10:14:19 PM »

Thomas The Tank Engine and the Magic Railroad.

I have seen corpses with more emotion than Peter Fonda and Alec Baldwin just reinforced my opinion of him as the biggest retard in film today.

The sad part is your average four year old loves the flick which means constant reperformances of this pile of Dreck before he gets big enough to realize that this is crap.

It gets to the point that I wish the freaking diesel would crush me.

Octavius · « **Reply #102 on:** December 04, 2003, 10:21:50 PM »

noooo! George Carlin is the conductor!

DiabloTX · « **Reply #103 on:** December 04, 2003, 10:23:52 PM »

I consider The Godfather and The Godfather pt. II as my all-time favorite movie. When I am channel surfing and come across it being aired I will watch it. I can't really say that about any other movie EXCEPT The Right Stuff. I know pt. III gets a lot of raspberries but the heart of the story is what I like. Michael Corleone coming to grips with his past and dealing with his mortality, acknowledging his buried feelings for Kay, and trying to get the family legit only to be subterfuged by, of all things, the Vatican. Plus, Pacino's cry/scream at the end of the movie is one of the best acting moments ever captured on film. If nothing else, that scene makes the movie watchable. Sophia Coppola couldn't act her way out of a but I admit I really do like pt. III.

Also, has anyone else mentioned Battlefield:Earth?

Lance · « **Reply #104 on:** December 05, 2003, 12:12:28 AM »

If documentaries count, it was without a doubt "Keep the river on your right."

This movie is about a jewish new yorker who went to South America in the 60's or 70's to live with a primitive tribe. He wanted to experience their culture, so he stayed with them for several months living as they did, even going on a raid where some members of another tribe were killed and eaten. He says he didn't kill anyone, but did eat some of their flesh. Now older than dirt, the documentary chronicles his return to visit this tribe a few years ago.

As the viewer soon learns, our daring protagonist turned the natives on to his culture as well. He's fruitier than Liberace, and had a tearful reunion with his gay indigenous lover sporting a bone through his nose.

I have to admit, however, that this movie is good for a few unintended-by-the-makers laughs.