*Unsolicited advice warning*
If you on the one hand want a respectable website your family, customers, and friends can frequent, you'd better decide what image you want presented to your family, friends, and customers. Decide what "respectable" means in that context and that's your target.
Personally, I was beginning to have serious problems visiting at all, and this was before the latest porn incident. I don't mind open debate, but a porn haven holds no interest for me in the least. That's not YOUR problem, though... and I am a big enough boy to stop visiting on my own without asking you to change anything. I'm not asking that now, for that matter.
Here's where I think you blew it, though... you didn't maintain a proper "distance" from the board patrons. What I mean is, for you to have any authority, you need to maintain a certain emotional distance from what goes on. That way when a violation occurs you don't have to consider who it is, only what was done. Your decisions will therefore be more impartial. In addition, you can't allow yourself to cross the lines (and you did), then expect people to jump into line when you blow the whistle. You're just one of the guys then, and that's how you'll get treated.
It won't matter what rules you put in place if you continue to put yourself in the place where you cannot enforce them. AND... if you take comments personally and expose your buttons, there are too many guys who derive entertainment by pushing them.
Boards don't self-police; you'll have to take an active hand, like it or not. You're going to have to be the bad guy. You're going to have to draw the line and protect it. It's a pain, and if you don't feel up to it, don't do it.
