I found this kinda funny so I'll post it here...
How to have the world's greatest airshow on a budget...
1) Why spend unneccessary money arranging for the F-117 to attend? All you need is Rob Reider and a good sound effects tape to convince the public that the next-generation of undetectable stealth aircraft has just flown over. Here it comes again...did you see it?
2) The liberal and creative use of olive drab paint, decals and informative placards could be used to multiply the number of warbirds in attendance easily. Have you seen the C152-Scourge of the Luftwaffe? What about the legendary Ercoupe with its distinctive shark's teeth markings? Adds a few flight suits and name tags, and soon your airshow will be crawling with celebrities, too. At least half your patrons will be impressed...and the other half will enjoy feeling smug about knowing they're wrong.
3) What's the difference between a real P-38 lightning at 4000 feet and a 1/8th scale RC Lightning at 500 feet? Nothing! Except all the money you'll save. Just don't put them on static display, or the jig is up.
4) Get large photo cutouts of fighter jets and arrange them along a taxiway near the parking lot. Rope it off so the public can't get inside to see them up close.
5) Who needs expensive aerobatic acts? You have a control tower. Make the night shift work the day shift on the day of the show. Deny them coffee. Serve beer instead. Suddenly you will have more aerobatic pilots than you know what to do with.
6) Tired of freeloaders parking outside the show to watch for free? Vendors complaining about lack of sales? Kill two birds with one stone...just paint a bunch of large wooden mock-ups of aircraft tails in camo and set them up around the field. People outside the show will be impressed by the number of large aircraft on display, and want to come inside to see them. It won't be until they get inside that they discover the tails are actually signs for ice cream booths selling 4 dollar cones...and then, of course, it's too late.
7) You don't need a large number of trained parachutists...just a few hankerchiefs, a potato gun and some luckless gerbils. They even smoke on the way down like the real thing. Nobody sees where those guys land, anyway...
8) On the first day of the show, tow a broken down car into the middle lane of the only road leading to the airport and leave it there. Traffic will back up rapidly. Hardly anyone will make it to the show. Use stock footage and carefully crafted press releases telling everyone on the news that night what a great show they missed. Prepare for a good turnout tomorrow.
9) People are impressed by celebrities. Who needs cool aircraft when the pilot is so popular? Hey, look...there goes John Travolta in his 707! And that must be the Pope in his Cessna 210! Hey, is that Elvis in that Piper Cub? Make all of your planes more interesting by announcing their famous pilots. Who'll know?
10) How to arrange for a USAF flyby...on YOUR schedule: It's simple really. Today's political climate makes it all too easy. Just have some yahoo in a Cessna buzz the stadium a few times and then make a beeline back to the airport. By the time he gets there, there should be a whole squadron of F-16's putting on an impressive aerial display over the show.
