Author Topic: Aviation (SR-71) Funnies  (Read 1779 times)

Offline LePaul

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« on: January 09, 2004, 01:53:37 PM »
In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes:
"I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my backseater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high.

We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed." "90 knots"Center replied.

Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120 knots," Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our groundspeed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests groundspeed readout.' There was a slight pause, then the response,"525 knots on the ground, Dusty."

Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my backseater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison." "Center,  Aspen 20, you got a groundspeed readout for us?" There was a longer  than normal pause .... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots"

 No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
 ---------------------------------------------------------------

 In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller,with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.

 -------------------------------------
 The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
 placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the
 navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator replied
 timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on
 navigators who get me lost!" The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45
 and place it on his chart table. The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
 "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost
before you will."
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 More tower chatter:
 Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta
 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold
 short of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out,
 turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the
 MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back
 with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority
 landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit
 peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number
 two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the pilot
 remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
Attempting  to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known
 position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and
 returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
 A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the
problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
 "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
here?"
 "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

Offline LWACE

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« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2004, 02:00:15 PM »
LOL those are great:D  specially the pilot and navigater with .45 lol:aok

Offline Ripsnort

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Re: Aviation (SR-71) Funnies
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2004, 02:05:00 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by LePaul
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
 placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the
 navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator replied
 timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on
 navigators who get me lost!" The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45
 and place it on his chart table. The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
 "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost
before you will."


I've been using this one for my signature over on AGW for months, funny as heck!

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2004, 02:07:39 PM »
Verry Good storys.

When I was an ATC radar tech way back when I was in the IFR room one day and heard a funny conversation:  (specific call signs and names made up for lack of memory)

ATC:  Nightmare 26 exit range 3901 hdng 185

26:  26 requesting more range time

ATC: negative 26 exit the range

26: this is General bremer I insist on more range time

ATC:  26 DONT CONFUSE YOUR RANK WITH MY AUTHORITY EXIT THE RANGE NOW!

26 : 26 taking heading

that was my version anyhow I think you get the gist of it.  Controllers are a funny bunch of people.  I knew many of them when I fixed the equipment that they often spilled their coffee in.

One night in the IFR room we had a power bump druing a storm.  The controllers were frantically trying to get the birds down.  Well it just so happens that the UPS switching system did not work (surprise surprise) and the generator failed to kick over.  

I got the generator running and power switched over than ran back to the IFR room for equipment check.  I saw every screen completly blank  my exact words were "holey SHlT"

with out missing a beat the sup. turned to me and yelled "HOLEY SHlT is RIGHT GET THIS FIXED"

I had never reset all 8 OD-152s (CRT Displays) so quickly befor in my life.

Later to add insult to injury the genorator ran out of gass.  Day shift said they filled it up but it was dry.  All was ok though cause shore power had stableized.  good ole ATC

Offline AKIron

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« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2004, 04:54:33 PM »
I was an ATC radar tech in the AF Gunslinger. I first started in the 70's back when many of the systems, especially the mobile systems, were tube type and required frequent adjusting.

One of the things they taught us in tech school was to make adjustments with both hands while in the mobile unit where the controllers sat next to the equipment. One hand twiddled on something innocuous in plain sight where the watching controller could see while the other hand, hidden, made the actual adjustment. :D

Spent many a night being their fourth playing pinochle.
Here we put salt on Margaritas, not sidewalks.

Offline MrCoffee

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« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2004, 05:30:33 PM »
SR-71s are cool planes. There used to be some SR-71s, alot acually based at an AF base not too far away. Its deactivated now though. I've never seen a real S-71 though, not at any airshows.

One of my goals in life is to get my arse to Russia for a flight in a Mig-25. 80,000,00 feet near mach3 1 hour flight. Very expensive.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2004, 05:34:54 PM by MrCoffee »

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2004, 06:00:57 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by AKIron
I was an ATC radar tech in the AF Gunslinger. I first started in the 70's back when many of the systems, especially the mobile systems, were tube type and required frequent adjusting.

One of the things they taught us in tech school was to make adjustments with both hands while in the mobile unit where the controllers sat next to the equipment. One hand twiddled on something innocuous in plain sight where the watching controller could see while the other hand, hidden, made the actual adjustment. :D

Spent many a night being their fourth playing pinochle.


Was that a TPN-8?  I cut my teeth on a TPN-22 GPN-27/ASR-8 and FPN-63.  LOL the deadliest air traffic controller is one with a screw driver who thinks he knows what he's doing!  I've told many 2nd LTs by reg they arnt allowed to carry tools at work...most of them beleived me lol

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2004, 06:02:11 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by MrCoffee
SR-71s are cool planes. There used to be some SR-71s, alot acually based at an AF base not too far away. Its deactivated now though. I've never seen a real S-71 though, not at any airshows.

One of my goals in life is to get my arse to Russia for a flight in a Mig-25. 80,000,00 feet near mach3 1 hour flight. Very expensive.


I see at least 1 or 2 every day at work.  We have about 3 of them here I think....2 of them are static displays...1 just since there no engines in the wings

Offline AKIron

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« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2004, 06:11:34 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Gunslinger
Was that a TPN-8?  I cut my teeth on a TPN-22 GPN-27/ASR-8 and FPN-63.  LOL the deadliest air traffic controller is one with a screw driver who thinks he knows what he's doing!  I've told many 2nd LTs by reg they arnt allowed to carry tools at work...most of them beleived me lol


MPN-13 is the one with the controllers in the equipment trailer I think. I never maintained one of those in the field.

I did maintain an MPN-14 but most of my experience was with fixed sites. FPN-47, FPN-16, GPN-20 (ASR8), FPN-62, GPN-25 (only at Nellis I believe) ASR-9, GPN-22 and all those associated systems Brite-II, DBrite, IFF etc....

Fond memories.  :)
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Offline mora

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« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2004, 06:49:01 PM »
"RADAR: "N12345, VFR traffic on your 12 o'clcok, range two miles"
A/c: "No, the traffic is actually a flock of Canada Geese!"
RADAR: "Well, the geese are squawking 7000""

Loads of ATC humour  here: http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=59309
« Last Edit: January 09, 2004, 06:51:50 PM by mora »

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #10 on: January 09, 2004, 07:01:55 PM »
My last duty station as an ATC tech was at K-Bay in Haiwaii.  They had the ASR8/GPN-27 with an FPN-63 for PAR.  They were in the process of installing a DASR (digital air survel. radar)  Pretty cool system, all the radar/com feed is put over a network and all the consols are PCs on a UNIX based OS.  With that setup you can take multiple radars and network them together and pull up a feed from what ever was connected to the system.  

Pretty soon though (if we arent allready) techs will be a thing of the past.  future generation RADARS will consist of throw away cards that can be swapped out with ease.  No need for repair technician.  I'm an Air Craft Mecanic now (egress) and find it much more rewarding.  Alot less thinking and alot more wrench turning.  Controllers allways thaught what we did was magic but usually it was just a bad cable or a recieve that just needed to be re-tuned

Offline AKIron

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« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2004, 07:12:32 PM »
I got outta that business when I retired in '95. Computer business now. I thought about going to work for the FAA a while back but they changed all their tech positions from GS to WG, much lower pay.

Here we put salt on Margaritas, not sidewalks.

Offline Mini D

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« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2004, 08:15:10 PM »
I also like the one from WW2 where a transient plane radioed the tower of a P-38 base that he was coming in on one engine and was given immediate clearance.  He didn't tell them he was flying a P-40.

MiniD

Offline Hawklore

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« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2004, 09:17:18 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Mini D
I also like the one from WW2 where a transient plane radioed the tower of a P-38 base that he was coming in on one engine and was given immediate clearance.  He didn't tell them he was flying a P-40.

MiniD
:lol
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