Author Topic: Stupid "Hat poll" (Read 793 times)

Capt. Pork · « **Reply #15 on:** February 04, 2004, 09:42:17 PM »

Unless you're a frat boy from mid nineties Delaware who watches too much Lacrosee, curled is going out of style.

Idiotic companies like Von Dutch have popularized the trucker caps as of late, with the foam subskeleton at the front that keeps it from staying flush with your skull. Also, they're uncurled.

Do what's comfortable.

rpm · « **Reply #16 on:** February 04, 2004, 10:33:50 PM »

Proper Brim Curvage:
1. Take new hat and carefully bend the brim untill the sides overlap.
2. Insert cap brim inside 1Qt Mason Jar mouth.
3. Leave hat bent in jar mouth overnight.
4. Remove hat, place on head and ease on down to the local Truckstop and hit on waitress with most teeth.

capt. apathy · « **Reply #17 on:** February 04, 2004, 10:37:19 PM »

either way. generally ballcaps are only used to cover bald spots anyway.

Capt. Pork · « **Reply #18 on:** February 04, 2004, 10:38:56 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by capt. apathy
either way. generally ballcaps are only used to cover bald spots anyway.

Doh! Now I know why I wear one over my crotch.

Raubvogel · « **Reply #19 on:** February 04, 2004, 11:43:39 PM »

Best way to get a cap ready for public wear is to wear it while working on your car and other greasy tasks for about 5 years. When the front of the brim starts to get threadbare and unravel, and when the sweat stains start coming through the headband, it's ready to hit the streets....curled of course.

Connection · « **Reply #20 on:** February 04, 2004, 11:49:53 PM »

Curled. When I played baseball I found the curl offered better sun protection. Besides, it looks much better.

Octavius · « **Reply #21 on:** February 05, 2004, 12:15:06 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Ripsnort
Do you wipe front to back, or back to front?

That is a very important question.

The mechanics of wiping one's nether region is of the utmost importance. There are two primary techniques as previously mentioned by Ripsnort.

Before we delve into actual techniques, we must discuss several important aspects of the pre-wiping experience:
[list=1]- In order for Proper Wiping Procedures to be carried out effectively, one must have an ample supply of TP within an arm's reach of the toilet! Failure to do so will require movement from the sitting position. This results in a Cheek Closure (CC).
- A cheek closure may or may not cause smearage. This depends on the type and magnitude of the 'job.'
- With a sufficient supply of TP on hand, one must develop a feel for the proper amount of TP usage per wipe. Most TP users generally reach with the hand opposite the roll of TP (on the left, grab with right, on the right, grab with left) and extend the sheet(s) about an armslength away from the roll. A quick snap of the wrist near the roll will allow the roll to rip along the perforated edge. An improper snap, or lazy snap, may result in a partial rip. If done hastily, this partial rip has the potential to create that small strand of the roll that just won't rip and goes around and around causing the damn roll to be ruined..... this decreases the overal efficiency of the roll and is wastefull. Avoid partial rips.
- NEVER at ANY time should one reuse a previously wiped TP wad. This is bad. It does NOT increase TP efficiency and leads to more mess.[/list]

1) Back-to-front (BtF): [list=1]This technique is carried out using a swift high-crack approach. From this high Angle of acrack (AOA) one must make contact with a non-fecalized portion just outside of the target area. This allows for maximum poop cleanage. Should the approach have a low initial AOA and the fecal matter landed upon, one runs the risk of a smearing. This smearing tends to increase time needed and number of back-to-front wipes needed.

With a high AOA in place, the next step is to firmly, yet gently wipe in a "south to north" fashion (depending on your initial position and perspective). One should attempt to avoid an overwipe. Doing so runs the risk of smearage once more. In this case, however, the smearage *might* contaminate the sack. This is an absolute no-no and results in stinky crotch and contaminated seat cushions. To avoid an overwipe, end your stroke just after 'ground zero.'[/list]
2) Front-to-back (FtB): [list=1]The second technique of crackular cleansing is quite similar to the former approach. The only difference being that it is reversed in direction. For those used to a BtF approach, it may seem awkward and the TP becoming unweidly. Again I must emphasize the importance of proper AOA and avoidance of overwipe. Overwipe is extremely important with FtB as the regions "above" ground zero provide a more than suitable area for smearage.[/list]======

To maximize your wiping experience, print this quick wiping tutorial and keep a copy or two within reach of the TP roll.

Capt. Pork · « **Reply #22 on:** February 05, 2004, 12:27:01 AM »

Wiping is for people who care about hygene.

Kieran · « **Reply #23 on:** February 05, 2004, 06:22:11 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Ripsnort
Do you wipe front to back, or back to front?

However the BMW dealer tells you to.

Ripsnort · « **Reply #24 on:** February 05, 2004, 07:13:46 AM »

LOL Oct!

Sway · « **Reply #25 on:** February 05, 2004, 07:19:30 AM »

yeah, didn't even think about wiping.

lazs2 · « **Reply #26 on:** February 05, 2004, 08:08:14 AM »

Many women have told me that when they see a man in a baseball hat they assume that he is bald or balding.

lazs

majic · « **Reply #27 on:** February 05, 2004, 08:19:32 AM »

And they would be right in my case...

Crapgame · « **Reply #28 on:** February 05, 2004, 04:14:53 PM »

I wear my ballcaps curled. Better sun protection on the golf course. At work though, I wear a snapbrim fedora, down in front, up in back...classic detective look...

midnight Target · « **Reply #29 on:** February 05, 2004, 04:19:00 PM »

Curled, and I hate the big flat billboard hats.

Wear one so often people at work look twice when i don't.