Author Topic: Commercial Holiday Mania  (Read 256 times)

Offline FUNKED1

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Commercial Holiday Mania
« on: February 14, 2004, 10:20:23 PM »
Just me or is it getting exponentionally worse each year?

Offline Dinger

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« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2004, 10:35:33 PM »
Well mike, when Fox decides to air 2 hours of cops "Love Hurts" domestic violence calls in honor of V-day, yeah, it's safe to say we've hit a new low.

Offline AdmRose

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Commercial Holiday Mania
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2004, 10:58:07 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Dinger
Well mike, when Fox decides to air 2 hours of cops "Love Hurts" domestic violence calls in honor of V-day, yeah, it's safe to say we've hit a new low.


He hits her cause he loves her.

Offline hawker238

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« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2004, 11:04:49 PM »
Somehow, when I saw V-day, I immediately thought it was in reference to a war, and I busily set about googling which war ended today....


Damn am i out of it.  Time for bed.

Offline SOB

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« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2004, 11:13:49 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Dinger
Well mike, when Fox decides to air 2 hours of cops "Love Hurts" domestic violence calls in honor of V-day, yeah, it's safe to say we've hit a new low.

Holy crap, I turned it off at 9pm, 'cause it thought that Walsh idiot would be popping onto the tube.  But there's another hour?!  This is like Chrismas!!!
Three Times One Minus One.  Dayum!

Offline Dinger

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« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2004, 02:31:20 AM »
okay, SOB, seeing as how you're a connoisseur and all, here's a little something I've been working on.  I'd appreciate some feedback/adjustments.

The COPS drinking game:

Drink for:
A) Guys with shirts off
B) Bodily fluids (establish your own hierarchy of drinks for fluids here)
C) Trailer parks
D) Any part of the body that is fuzzed out
E) Obscenities
F) Drugs and Alcohol (should you have any of the items, you are honor-bound to offer them at that moment)
G) Weapons (Beer for blades, shots for firearms)
H)  Cops moralizing ("That's what happens when you start sniffing glue") or justifying themselves ("I just love helping people")
I) The PIT manuever (a shot here might be appropriate)
--Domestic disputes require no additional drinking rules --

Anyone who misses a shot is required to reenact the key segment of the incident in question (sobriety test, flashing genitalia, drug-induce psychosis, etc.).

Offline AKS\/\/ulfe

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« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2004, 03:54:16 AM »
I was watching Korean Music Countdown, why the **** is anyone celebrating a bull**** holiday??? Oh right, because they have girlfriends and wives. Damn it! You all suck.
-SW

Offline SOB

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« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2004, 03:58:38 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Dinger
okay, SOB, seeing as how you're a connoisseur and all, here's a little something I've been working on.  I'd appreciate some feedback/adjustments.

The COPS drinking game:

Drink for:
A) Guys with shirts off
B) Bodily fluids (establish your own hierarchy of drinks for fluids here)
C) Trailer parks
D) Any part of the body that is fuzzed out
E) Obscenities
F) Drugs and Alcohol (should you have any of the items, you are honor-bound to offer them at that moment)
G) Weapons (Beer for blades, shots for firearms)
H)  Cops moralizing ("That's what happens when you start sniffing glue") or justifying themselves ("I just love helping people")
I) The PIT manuever (a shot here might be appropriate)
--Domestic disputes require no additional drinking rules --

Anyone who misses a shot is required to reenact the key segment of the incident in question (sobriety test, flashing genitalia, drug-induce psychosis, etc.).


LOL, I see a major flaw (or maybe that's a feature) in your game so far.  Following these rules, one of the following would end up happening in one 30-minute COPS episode:

A: Most playing would fall into a coma or die from alcohol poisoning.
B: They would literally turn into a COPS episode as they became roudy and loopy and actuall officers were called to the scene.
C: A & B

I prefer the "Jerry Springer Audience" method:

*COPS are going to attempt the PIT manuever = Cheer emphatically and scream PIT HIM PIT HIM PIT HIM YEAH!

*Perp is looking fiesty = Cheer on the perp and egg him on with such encouragement as "you can take 'em, there's only 5 pigs standing around you ... KICK SOME ASS, MULLET MAN!"

*Perp has taken your advice = Cheer "Beat the **** out of 'em, OX!" and "The TAZER, break out the TAZER!!!"  or just "PEPPER SPRAY PEPPER SPRAY! YEAH!"

*Cops are doing an undercover operation to bust harmless people buying drugs like mary jane for themselves = Laugh at the hillarity as seconds after the harmless/hapless "criminal" purchases the fake product one of the cops makes a mad dash and tackles them to the ground, shouting at them to not to move seconds before they're sacked behind the line of scrimmage.

*You see the 800th cop telling about the disturbing circumstances of his personal life = Shout "shut up and PIT somebody already!"

*Random derelict refuses to comply with officers' instructions and runs away, struggles violently, or starts screaming like a maniac = Chant "Break out the Baton!"

There are many more, but you get the idea.  Somehow I can't stand Jerry Springer or any shows like it, but I can't get enough of COPS.  I think there's something wrong with me, but I don't care! :D
Three Times One Minus One.  Dayum!