Would you believe it! Some folks have accused me of “dancing” on this board! The general pattern is for my accusers to seize upon a comment that I made in passing, which does NOT form part of the discussion at hand, and when I point this out in an effort to keep the thread on topic, I’m accused of avoiding the “point” and/or “dancing”!
So be it. Slapshot mentioned a dance I hadn’t heard of. He called it the
Tex
as two-step. So I’ve tried to put a tune together, and some words.
Imagine the scene – it’s a
Tex
as style hoe-down. All the guys are drinking beer from long neck bottles. The girls are… well, they look lovely.
Slapshot is the dancemaster and calls the steps. In the band, we have two violins, banjo, twin-neck steel guitar, drums… Take it away, Slapshot!
It’s two to the left and two to the right
It’s the Texas two-step, we can dance all night!
Swing your partner, give her a twirl
Don’t be bashful, swing that girl!
Now our friend Toad doesn’t fly very high
And the way he flies he’s sure to die!
Used to fly a Jug a long time before,
When his PC was a Commodore!
Now Toad’s not alone and the support he has
Comes mainly from a guy called Lazs,
Who’s big and bad and looks quite mean
And has the biggest gun I’ve ever seen!
Lazs hates the strat and loves to fight
So he loves the day and hates the night.
But his old plane comes from the ark
And when his k/h drops he blames the dark!
Now dos à dos that’s back to back
But careful now, watch out for attack!
If your partner’s Toad better check your six
‘cos old Mr. Toad he’s full of tricks!
Oh! Furball to the left and strat to the right
It’s the Texas two-step, we can dance all night!
Swing your partner, give her a twirl
Swing your partner, swing that girl!
Now our friend Rude is a furball dude
More dead than alive in his Spit five
When he bounced two cons and his chances were blown
Said ”It wasn’t my fault – I was on the phone!”
Yee-harr! Nice footwork, Rude!
Now our friend Steve flies EasyMode
So he’s no friend of Lazs or Toad
He say’s this and that and the other SUX
So his whole game’s in a state of flux!
In his EasyStang he racks up kills
Won’t send me films, but I’ve seen the stills!
In his Easystang he’s sure to shine
But he can’t do it in a 109!
Oh! Furball to the left and strat to the right
It’s the Texas two-step, we can dance all night!
Swing your partner, give her a twirl
Don’t be bashful, swing that girl!
<-- music slows down on last line of song
