Sir,
Request permission to leave the base and drive through the town in a stolen jeep insulting the locals, sir, and waving private parts at said locals. Later, after tattoos, will crash jeep and deploy self in hooch venue, where this officer will consume prodigious quantities of hard liquor, sir. Fistfights inevitable, as well as boom-boom with local ladies. Given past history of anti-female violence, rough stuff with ladies likely, as is resistance to any attempts by MP's or others to subdue this officer, who has a shiv and knows how to use it. Will report back to base late, drunk, unshaved, and surly, in the custody of local lawmen.
Sir, I await your response and remain, sir, your most humble and obedient servant.
Jeebuz
XO No. 421 sqn, 127 Wing, RCAF
