eskimo's just here for an argument.
E=Eskimo
C=Curval
E: (Knock)
C: Come in.
E: Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?
C: I told you once.
E: No you haven't.
C: Yes I have.
E: When?
C: Just now.
E: No you didn't.
C: Yes I did.
E: You didn't
C: I did!
E: You didn't!
C: I'm telling you I did!
E: You did not!!
C: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?
E: Oh, just the five minutes.
C: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
E: You most certainly did not.
C: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
E: No you did not.
C: Yes I did.
E: No you didn't.
C: Yes I did.
E: No you didn't.
C: Yes I did.
E: No you didn't.
C: Yes I did.
E: You didn't.
C: Did.
E: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
C: Yes it is.
E: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
C: No it isn't.
E: It is!
C: It is not.
E: Look, you just contradicted me.
C: I did not.
E: Oh you did!!
C: No, no, no.
E: You did just then.
C: Nonsense!
E: Oh, this is futile!
C: No it isn't.
E: I came here for a good argument.
C: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
E: An argument isn't just contradiction.
C: It can be.
E: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
C: No it isn't.
E: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
C: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
E: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
C: Yes it is!
E: No it isn't!
C: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
E: No it isn't.
: It is.
C: Not at all.
E: Now look.
C: (Rings bell) Good Morning.
E: What?
C: That's it. Good morning.
E: I was just getting interested.
C: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
E: That was never five minutes!
C: I'm afraid it was.
E: It wasn't.
Pause
C: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
E: What?!
C: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
E: Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!
C: (Hums)
E: Look, this is ridiculous.
C: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
E: Oh, all right. (pays money)
C: Thank you.
short pause
E: Well?
C: Well what?
E: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
C: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
E: I just paid!
C: No you didn't.
E: I DID!
C: No you didn't.
E: Look, I don't want to argue about that.
C: Well, you didn't pay.
E: Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
C: No you haven't.
E: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
C: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
E: Oh I've had enough of this.
C: No you haven't.
E: Oh Shut up. (Walks down the stairs. Opens door.)
