July 21th, 2004 7:48 pm
Michael Moore is the bestest thing ever
By xtoronto / Mike Moore Elementary Newspaper
September 11 was the day I realized my purpose in life. It's to spam message boards with cut-n-paste political rhetoric that gets me attention. You see, my parents never really give me all that much attention. I'm not good enough at Aces High to become famous for being a good stick. I'm not imaginative enough to be the next Voss Hinds. So ... this is what I do. I cut and paste my crappy agenda all over the place.
And it works! I get responses! The best ones come from anything to do with Michael Moore or his new bestest blockbuster insightful documentalry Farenheit 9/11. Michael Moore - you rawk dude! I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!
And the documentalry is the mostest insightfulest and truthfulest thing ever produced by our slimey neighbor to the south. I've seen it twenty-twelve times already and every time I come out of it with yet more insightfulness as well as a tightness down in the crotch area.
When will you people wake up and smell the petunias? It's obvious to me and I've spent a lifetime sniffing glue!