Alotta you aren't gonna be able to relate to this...
er maybe that's not so true... It depends....
Lets see...
Has anyone of you lost a loved one, dear to you? How about a failed relationship? A job you cherished...
Something significant.
The first long while, you think about it every day.
Months go by, and gawdammit in some small way it still creeps into your thoughts.
You start to think about the day that you look back a day and say "my god, I didn't think about it at all yesterday!"
But you just did....
You start to suspect that this conundrum occupies a more nagging position than the actual reason for the manifestation of the conundrum.
I haven't yet not thought about heroin each and every day.
But I think that I am no longer thinking about heroin, but of the thoughts of it.
Each day I get closer to forgetting... but like someone you love breaking up with you, or dying, there is this thing that grabs you just before drifting to sleep...
"You almost went through an entire day without thinking of me."
Fortunately (or unfortunately) I know exactly how this plays out.
One day I'll be walking down the street and it will hit me like a ton of bricks... "You didn't think about it at ALL yesterday."
That realization will cause further weeks of thinking about it... But its hold is now gone. It's no longer a subconscious happening... It's a matter of clinging.
And the days spent not thinking about it will begin to outnumber the days spent thinking about it...
Until finally, it'll be a forced memory... Much like one reminisces about an old girlfriend.
Had a coupla nice dances, but thank god ya didn't marry the biatch.
