MarkVZ has it right. The planes in AH are actually easier to fly than RL planes IMHO. I can jump into ANY AH plane and takeoff, fight, land, all on the first try with no study or preflight knowledge of it's handling characteristics. If I tried that in RL, I'd probably crash and kill myself at some point even with around 1000 hours of real life flight time. The difference is that in the game we're missing most of the tactile feedback we would have in real life so it's harder to know exactly where the plane is in it's flight envelope. This isn't all that unrealistic of course since some real aircraft don't give any warning before they depart controlled flight either. You just have to learn to use what cues the game gives you, and that will be more than enough. For example, you HAVE to watch for any yaw motion. This is easily seen from any of the level view directions once you start looking for it. To see what I mean, flip to any level (not UP modified) outside view and kick the rudders. You can definately see when the plane yaws. The lesson there is that yaw you want is good, yaw you don't want and didn't ask for is quite often BAD and a sign that the plane is about to spin or otherwise depart controlled flight.
Learn to ride the stall horn too. Again this closely models real life aircraft performance in that the horn in AH substitutes for airframe buffeting, sound, and feedback in the control stick. Once you learn that you simply CAN'T pull any harder when the stall horn is blaring and you also need to be careful how aggressively you use the other controls, you'll get a better feel for the plane.
It takes time, just like in RL. One benefit of AH over RL is that nearly every plane in AH shares the exact same basic flight characteristics... They ALL have a stall horn, they ALL spin pretty much the same way, they ALL react to rudder in the same basic way, etc etc. This is somewhat unrealistic but HT simply doesn't have time to write a complete flight engine for each aircraft so we make do with the complexity he has in the single flight engine. IMHO it's plenty of feedback to make the planes reasonably easy to fly. Not easy to fly WELL, but easy to just fly around.