It's come to my attention that, like Aces High, several other games seem to have an inherint unfairness built in to them. Therefore, as of today I have instituted the following changes in the following pasttimes.
Football _ It struck me 10 seconds ago that it seems unfair to me that one side can score a goal while the other side cannot. After much thought I've decided that if a team is advancing down the field it loses one player for every 10 yards gained. I tried it, and nobody on the side that was losing ground complained, so it must be fair.
Baseball _ I banged my knee the other day and my foot jerked. As a result, I have instituted the following changes in this very unfair game. Like football, the winning team loses one player for each homerun scored. But, since that was not enough to keep one team from occasionally winning, I have also decided that if the score continues unbalanced, the side with the most runs must surrender their gloves and bats to give the other side a fair shot. Again, I have tried these new rules out, and the side that had been losing assures me they are a stroke of genius and very, very fair. Of course, those whiners on the other side complain that they have been put at a very unfair disadvantage. Why can't they shut up and play what I now call baseball?
I'm now going to turn my attention to basketball. I plan on giving much thought to how to make this game more fair. Give me a few seconds and I'm sure I'll come up with something...