Author Topic: Tips that can make your B17 flight better  (Read 1540 times)

Offline Beefcake

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Tips that can make your B17 flight better
« on: April 29, 2000, 07:19:00 AM »
Here are some tips from the full time bomber pilot.

Things to check before takeoff:

1. Before leaving the base, make sure that the fridge in the back of the plane is full of beer. Otherwise, you may find yourself running low.

2. Make sure that the crew has stocked enough Bar Nuts and Beef Jerky.

3. Make sure the Bathroom in the back of the plane is clean.

4. Make sure the crew cleans out the septic tank.

5. Make sure the crew stocks alot of toliet paper.

6. Check to make sure that the TV in the "pit" works.

7. Make sure the TV has a remote.

8. Make sure the remote has one of those beeper things on it.

9. Make sure the crew did not put "watered down gas" in your plane.

10. Make sure the satalite dish works.

11. Pack a satalite transponder.

12. Check and make sure that your Autopilot is not HAL 2000.

13. Make sure you have "real ammo".


Here are some "in flight" things:

1. If you had beans for dinner, leave the windows in the open position.

2. The prop is not a "can opener".

3. Remember, staying in the bathroom for more than 3 hours, puts at you risk of being shot down.

4. Watching enemy porn channels on TV, is a good sorce for laughs.

5. Never spit into the wind.

6. Never piss out the window unless you are under 5k, and over enemy homeland.

7. Blowing chunks out the window can bad for the engines.

8. The Norden Bomb sight can double as a nice footrest.

9. Never reach for a beer while maning tail guns.

10. Never fly a bomber sober.

11. Never fart and smoke while in a bomber.

12. Always flush the toliet over enemy homeland.

13. Giving the finger to friendly bomber pilots can lead to a fight in the hanger.

14. Empty Beer cans make great ammo.

15. Never pretend to ride a bomb while in mid flight.

These are some tips to make your flight better, I'll be back with more later.

The Cow in the Sky
Retired Bomber Dweeb - 71 "Eagle" Squadron RAF

Offline bloom25

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Tips that can make your B17 flight better
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2000, 04:30:00 AM »
Hmmm, I sense a pattern here....    Btw: B17s didn't have bathrooms.  The first bomber I can think of that did is the B36.  (Imagine if they let one of those loose in the arena.)

My squad shoots at each other for target practice now that they turned killshooter for bombers off.  



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Offline 10Bears

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Tips that can make your B17 flight better
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2000, 07:29:00 PM »
Sounds swell but what is a TV?

Offline JimBear

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Tips that can make your B17 flight better
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2000, 08:58:00 PM »
Hmmm, think the Lancaster  had a built in john. Just another reason to look forward to its arrival.  


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[This message has been edited by JimBear (edited 04-30-2000).]

Offline Beefcake

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Tips that can make your B17 flight better
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2000, 09:40:00 PM »
*sighs* umm guys I was trying to be funny here. ZOOOOM! I know the B17 didn't have Bathrooms on them.  

The Cow in the Sky
Retired Bomber Dweeb - 71 "Eagle" Squadron RAF

Offline Rendar

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Tips that can make your B17 flight better
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2000, 10:40:00 PM »
I think the B-29 had a toilet.

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Lt. J.G. VF-100 "The Haze"