Consider the famous footage of a Hellcat returning to land on a carrier after a big battle (Midway?): The damaged hellcat comes it, veers to the side, SLAMS into the tower at high speed, WHIPS around, rips the ENTIRE TAIL off, behind the cockpit, noses down and slides off for at least 12 more feet. Pilot is alive, conscious, and moving, and is helped out of the cockpit by deck crew.
I think:
1) You all are under estimating how much a plane could take vs how much the pilot could take. Just because the PLANE loses a wing doesn't mean the PILOT gets hurt.
2) The ditch is fine, but the damage is wrong. I've ditched many times with a PERFECT ditch that then lost me an entire wing, a tail, and half another wing. I think you are seeing all this damage and going "No way! The ditch model is wrong!!" when in fact you should be saying "Huh, cool ditch, but that damage model is WAY wrong!".
My $0.02
No wait, I'm broke, I'm charging YOU $0.02 just for reading that!