Author Topic: From the forums.....  (Read 522 times)

Offline Ripsnort

  • Radioactive Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 27260
From the forums.....
« on: September 19, 2004, 08:59:09 AM »
Automobile forums that is...


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mercedes forum
- My wife and her a-hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court.
How do I get them both killed and not get in trouble with my medical board?

Bentley Forums
- I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?

Camaro/Firebird Forums
- My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I
have a record and I ain't going back.

Mustang (Chevelle )forums
-Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me.

Monte Carlo forums
-Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo.

Civic forums
-Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me.

VW Bug forum
- The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)

Yugo Forum
- When's the last time yours ran?

Lamborghini forum
- Wind noise around 210MPH

Miata forums
- Some redneck ******* in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics)

Chevy Tahoe forum
- Are gas prices going down any time soon?

Pontiac Fiero forum
- Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics)

BMW 7-series forum
- Where to get service on my Rolex?

Cadillac forum
- Problems parallel parking at bingo.

Buick Forum
- Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me?

Delorean forum
- Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help.
I'm from 1985.

Honda Accord forum
- Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims.

Toyota Echo forum
- Do our cars use AAA or AA's?

Ferrari forums
- Need suggestions about a business trip to Columbia. Want to get in
and out fast.

Porsche forums
- Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself?

Saturn forums
- Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.

Jaguar
- Is the carbon fiber dash kit group-buy still on?

Mini
- Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie
company. (pics)

Dodge Viper forum
- I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get
pee stains out of the leather?

McLaren F1 forum
-Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.

Dodge Minivan forum
- Where's the best place to post the soccer schedule so I don't forget
where I'm supposed to be?

Hummer forum
- Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the
black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in gas.

Fiat forum
-Hello? Am I the only member?

Subaru WRX forum
- I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot.

Chevy pickup forum
- How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah
truck?

SRT Forums..
"Will this void my warranty ?"

DSM Forums
-Transmission Groupbuy Full. stop PM'ing me

Supra Forums
-Head to big to fit in car, should have bought a Targa.

Vette Forums
-Why did I pay $50k for something with a Cavalier Steering wheel

Ford 2.3 forums
-Help! Replaced everything, still doesn't start

Offline eagl

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6769
From the forums.....
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2004, 02:20:27 PM »
I have a firebird and I've never wanted to kill my girlfriend, brother, or wife...

The Miata one is spot on though.  My Mom has a beautiful red miata, keeps it garaged, waxed, perfectly detailed.  Awesome condition.  Then some prettythangwipe in an SUV backed into her front fender at a gas station even though she was clearly in view, laying on the horn, and trying to back out of there.  She could see 2 of his mirrors AND his head, so he could have easily seen her.  But he's a big man in a big car, so get outta the way world!

It ruined the fender and bent up the bumper, but it looks like it'll make a decent recovery at the shop.  Unfortunatly the car she's spent literally thousands of hours keeping in perfect condition will now always have one fender with the color not *quite* right, and if she ever sells it she has to report that it's been in an accident.  Insurance doesn't cover the "awww hell" she'll think every time the sun hits it just right and shows her that the fender has been repainted, and it sure as heck doesn't cover the $1000-$1500 drop in resale value for a collision-repaired car.

There was no damage to the SUV which is good for him I guess, so he'll probably do it again 'cause he's a big man in a big car so why should he bother to actualy LOOK before driving around?

In my huge bright red firebird, I've been literally run off the road twice by SUVs, one of them yapping on the cell phone and the other one just speeding in traffic and not paying much attention.  

It's like terrorism...  Not all Muslims are terrorists but most terrorists somehow just happen to be extreme Muslims.  Not all SUV drivers are idiots but every time I've nearly been killed while driving, it's been an SUV that's caused it.  Go figure.
Everyone I know, goes away, in the end.

Offline FUNKED1

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6866
      • http://soldatensender.blogspot.com/
From the forums.....
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2004, 02:23:23 PM »
Quote
Subaru WRX forum
- I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot.


This actually happened several times on our forums.  :)

Offline FUNKED1

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6866
      • http://soldatensender.blogspot.com/
From the forums.....
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2004, 02:25:57 PM »
Here's my favorite DSM joke, the cure for crankwalk.

Offline Nilsen

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 18108
From the forums.....
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2004, 02:35:33 PM »
lol Ripley :)

Offline Gunslinger

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 10084
From the forums.....
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2004, 02:42:05 PM »
Forgot one:


Jeep Forums:  "Broke an axle, brakes went out, transmission is slipping, I have to turn on my windshiled wipers so my headlights work, and my top leaks water like a siv.......Its a jeep thing, you wouldnt understand.

LOL good post though rip

Offline eagl

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6769
From the forums.....
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2004, 07:43:49 PM »
A better camaro/firebird one would be:

I made all the free mods, cut off my cats, and gained 100 rwhp!  I don't have a scanner though so I can't show you the dyno run.
Everyone I know, goes away, in the end.

Offline Saurdaukar

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 8610
      • Army of Muppets
From the forums.....
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2004, 08:06:32 PM »
Integra Forums:  Just WASTED a GT3 QUAD TURBO on the PCH in my i/h/e 92 GS!!!111lolerskatez!!!111 VTECPOWAH!

Offline rpm

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 15661
From the forums.....
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2004, 08:21:58 PM »
BMW 7-series forum
- How to get oil stains out of your garage carpet?
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Stay thirsty my friends.

Offline NUTTZ

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1818
From the forums.....
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2004, 09:05:43 PM »
LOL

NUTTZ

Quote
Originally posted by rpm371
BMW 7-series forum
- How to get oil stains out of your garage carpet?

Offline NUTTZ

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1818
From the forums.....
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2004, 09:16:00 PM »
Ford Pinto forum: Military to replay Bradley's with Pinto's. Commander Powell states " what would you be more afraid of, 3 bradley's or 500 pinto's driving in backwards?"

Lincoln continental Forum. " Yo, how do you remove stains from simulated purple leopard skin?"

LeCar forum: "mall police clocked me at 7 Mph, but my wheels shimmy at 3 Mph."

NUTTZ

Offline NUTTZ

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1818
From the forums.....
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2004, 09:18:45 PM »
Trans Am Forum: "Snow tires are holding the mobile roof down, I need a ladder."

NUTTZ

Quote
Originally posted by eagl
A better camaro/firebird one would be:

I made all the free mods, cut off my cats, and gained 100 rwhp!  I don't have a scanner though so I can't show you the dyno run.

Offline Halo

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3222
From the forums.....
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2004, 09:35:15 PM »
Focus forum:  what, we give you five free recalls AND you expect AC to work beyond 36 months?
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. (Seneca, 1st century AD, et al)
Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty. (Anne Herbert, 1982, Sausalito, CA)
Paramedic to Perkaholics Anonymous

Offline Sandman

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 17620
From the forums.....
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2004, 11:31:54 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by NUTTZ
Trans Am Forum: "Snow tires are holding the mobile roof down, I need a ladder."

NUTTZ


Or... Will Round-Up weed killer damage the engine?
sand

Offline Ripsnort

  • Radioactive Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 27260
From the forums.....
« Reply #14 on: September 20, 2004, 07:31:52 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by rpm371
BMW 7-series forum
- How to get oil stains out of your garage carpet?


Oil absorbing garage floor matts! ;) (However, new Bimmers don't leak oil!)