Author Topic: The next 6 weeks... (Read 744 times)

Ripsnort · « **on:** September 21, 2004, 08:19:38 AM »

...might turn for the worst. Good time to have an emergency plan in place, and some food, water, etc.

U.S. intelligence agencies concluded recently that al Qaeda is moving ahead with plans for a major attack prior to U.S. elections

CyranoAH · « **Reply #1 on:** September 21, 2004, 08:25:59 AM »

Posted this before, but it's worth a repost

From Late Night with Conan O'Brian:

"Dick Cheney said that if John Kerry wins, there will be another attack. Then Cheney said, if Bush wins, I'll call it off."

Daniel

SOB · « **Reply #2 on:** September 21, 2004, 10:19:45 AM »

I have my duct tape and plastic sheeting ready! And back on topic, what should I be doing to protect myself from the impending doom of big bad Al?

Sandman · « **Reply #3 on:** September 21, 2004, 10:44:38 AM »

It's a good thing we have the Department of Homeland Security here to protect us.

Muckmaw1 · « **Reply #4 on:** September 21, 2004, 10:46:51 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by SOB
I have my duct tape and plastic sheeting ready! And back on topic, what should I be doing to protect myself from the impending doom of big bad Al?

I would'nt worry about it SOB.

Salem Oregon is not exactly on the Al-Qaeda top 10.

Muckmaw1 · « **Reply #5 on:** September 21, 2004, 10:49:08 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Sandman
It's a good thing we have the Department of Homeland Security here to protect us.

Yeah, I know.

There's explosions going off left and right here.

Whoops...there goes my car.

Pfft...we need to get rid of this useless piece of beauracracy and spend more money on welfare.

Ripsnort · « **Reply #6 on:** September 21, 2004, 10:56:54 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Sandman
It's a good thing we have the Department of Homeland Security here to protect us.

Quote

Threats and security
The Department of Homeland Security merges under one roof the capability to anticipate, preempt and deter threats to the homeland whenever possible, and the ability to respond quickly when such threats do materialize.

The department is responsible for assessing the vulnerabilities of the nation's critical infrastructure and cyber security threats and takes the lead in evaluating these vulnerabilities and coordinating with other federal, state, local, and private entities to ensure the most effective response.

DHS encourages individuals to report information concerning suspicious or criminal activity and cyber security incidents to Homeland Security.

[/b]

And don't forget, God helps those who help themselves. Be prepared.

AKS\/\/ulfe · « **Reply #7 on:** September 21, 2004, 10:58:11 AM »

Duct tape is worthless, it protects nothing and is only useful to rednecks doing any form of repair - from clothing to vehicular.

Double sided masking tape is what you need. Not only is it great for holding up thin plastic that protects you from radiation, chemical and bioligical weapons, and most importantly - fire, but it also catches all of these horrific forms of terrorism on the exposed sticky side so you and your family will be kept safe and not have to worry in the impending doom that will take out those less protected that are simply "duck and cover"ing.
-SW

SOB · « **Reply #8 on:** September 21, 2004, 11:03:46 AM »

Damn, and here I've got two big rolls of the duct tape! Well, you can't be too safe I guess, so I'm off to the hardware store to buy some of that double-sided tape...should I ask specifically for anti-terrorism double-sided tape, or will the regular stuff work fine?

BTW...There's a great stupid poll in Rip's link - "Should Rather Resign?". Apart from the stupid title, question number 3 is "who will you vote for as president", and your options are simply Bush or Kerry. Not even an "other" selection. Nice. They also ask for your email address before you submit, and apparently both f*ck@you.com AND poop@poop.com have already voted!

midnight Target · « **Reply #9 on:** September 21, 2004, 11:05:34 AM »

But ... Bush said we are safer. He said it 17 times in one speech!

TheDudeDVant · « **Reply #10 on:** September 21, 2004, 11:10:42 AM »

Clearly what we need is double sided duct tape!!

SOB · « **Reply #11 on:** September 21, 2004, 11:13:48 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by TheDudeDVant
Clearly what we need is double sided duct tape!!

Run with it man, you could make Trillions, or dare I say it . . . BILLIONS!!!

AKS\/\/ulfe · « **Reply #12 on:** September 21, 2004, 11:15:15 AM »

Its actually a special brand you need that is less porous and has a denser concentration of stick-fast material. Its called, "Ashcroft's Ultimate Anti-Terror Tape", and has a "APPROVED BY THE DHS" sticker on it. On the back it reads, "Four out of Five Terrorists hate it!"

Costs $9.95 a roll, is 100 yards plus 5 inches wide for the best plastic adhesive capabilities, and has a large banner you can put up on your fumigated looking plastic covered house that reads "UNITED WE STAND" in addition to a little American flag bumper sticker.

Quite a buy for the real patriots.
-SW

SOB · « **Reply #13 on:** September 21, 2004, 11:17:05 AM »

Oooh, thrown in a crying bald eagle sticker, and I'll buy a whole box!

Torque · « **Reply #14 on:** September 21, 2004, 11:19:10 AM »

Make sure you check the expiry dates before purchasing.