Author Topic: The 4th Jihad (or why I'll never eat skittles again) (Read 478 times)

Preon1 · « **on:** October 07, 2004, 10:12:12 AM »

I just got this email forwarded from a friend in Iraq. I think he was complaining about the dessert in his MRE:

Quote

Skittles! The Fourth Jihad! Designed to undermine the integrity of all true Americans. From a distance, they look like M&M's but do they contain the nutrients necessary to the sustenance of all good warriors? NO! No caffeine. No Chocolate. Just the sugary sweet sour disgusting trickf*ck that could only be the product of evil devious intent or else the addle-headed business venture of some glassy-eyed, moon-pie-eating, grape-Nehi-soda-drinking, longhaired leftover from the age of Aquarius, flotsam stranded by the receding tides of the free-love & drugs decadence, just sitting around listening to rock&roll music, bad-mouthing their country, and dreaming of Unicorns, Skittles, and anorexic nymphettes in Victoria’s Secrets Lingerie. Skittles! Makes me want to wait until nightfall and then set fire to my pubic hair and charge naked and screaming into the middle of downtown Fallujah. That'll break the resistance of those Skittle-eating terrorists..... arrrgggghhh!

Saurdaukar · « **Reply #1 on:** October 07, 2004, 10:13:48 AM »

ra · « **Reply #2 on:** October 07, 2004, 10:20:47 AM »

Why do MRE's come with Skittles? They are teh suck.

rpm · « **Reply #3 on:** October 07, 2004, 10:38:13 AM »

I can see his frustration, but in the Army's defense: Would M&M's melt in your hand in Iraq?

Muckmaw1 · « **Reply #4 on:** October 07, 2004, 11:22:57 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by rpm
I can see his frustration, but in the Army's defense: Would M&M's melt in your hand in Iraq?

Melt in your mouth, not in Iraq.

midnight Target · « **Reply #5 on:** October 07, 2004, 11:27:45 AM »

I blame Haliburton.

Saurdaukar · « **Reply #6 on:** October 07, 2004, 11:32:07 AM »

Skittles are the WRONG choice during the WRONG war at the WRONG time. This administration has failed the American people and the soldiers in Iraq by not providing M&M's. I have a plan to eliminate the distribution of Skittles by 75% by 2007. Four more years of Skittles is the WRONG choice. Four more years of this administration lining the pockets of their friends at the Mars candy company is the WRONG decision. Four more years of our troops eating sub standard candy is the WRONG policy.

Im John Kerry... and I approve this message.

Chairboy · « **Reply #7 on:** October 07, 2004, 11:36:55 AM »

M&Ms were originally developed to be sold to the military because they wouldn't melt in hot climates. The creator of M&Ms saw soldiers in the spanish civil war eating chocolate encased in candy and noticed the lack of meltiness and was inspired.

Heretik · « **Reply #8 on:** October 07, 2004, 11:42:19 AM »

It's hard... it's hard work to put skittles in MREs. I see on the TV that it's hard.

I'm George W Bush and I approve this message.

101ABN · « **Reply #9 on:** October 07, 2004, 12:52:37 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by rpm
I can see his frustration, but in the Army's defense: Would M&M's melt in your hand in Iraq?

heck, we about melted over there. ha ha

Gunslinger · « **Reply #10 on:** October 07, 2004, 02:56:44 PM »

Skittles arent the only candy in MREs.

They also come with tootsie rolls and even worse CHARMS.

BUT,

Blessed is he who recieves the beloved MRE pound cake.

Those are THE BEST! The brownie aint bad either.

We also had a blast when we had races to see who can eat the MRE crackers and MRE penut butter the fastest without taking a drink from your canteen. It's near impossible considering how dry they both are.

Preon1 · « **Reply #11 on:** October 07, 2004, 03:39:21 PM »

bah! pound cake

The M&Ms have more trading power.

Also, I think the tootsie rolls and charms have been phased out. Now those poor army guys have got to eat what's left.

stiehl · « **Reply #12 on:** October 07, 2004, 07:04:15 PM »

*sniff How dare you speak ill of the rainbow candy I like skittles, prob. the only place I got vitamin C from in high school.

anonymous · « **Reply #13 on:** October 07, 2004, 07:06:44 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Gunslinger
Skittles arent the only candy in MREs.

They also come with tootsie rolls and even worse CHARMS.

BUT,

Blessed is he who recieves the beloved MRE pound cake.

Those are THE BEST! The brownie aint bad either.

We also had a blast when we had races to see who can eat the MRE crackers and MRE penut butter the fastest without taking a drink from your canteen. It's near impossible considering how dry they both are.

seven of eight dyed in the wool killers prefer the brownie.

also did i mention your young scopeophile jarhead is over sixty now?

lasersailor184 · « **Reply #14 on:** October 07, 2004, 07:56:52 PM »

Purple Skittles are the best candy ever!