I hate to say this so bluntly, but- Osama Bin Laden is stumping for Bush. There's even rumors Osama might show up in Ohio over the weekend to help get out the Octigerian vote by organizing buses to shuttle Cincinnati voters from the old folks homes to the polls.
Meanwhile Sadaam Hussien has come out squarely in favor of a Kerry Presidency, claiming Bush didn't play by the rules and cheated when he invaded Iraq. There's rumors of a Kerry campaign commercial featuring footage of a dirty and dishevled Sadaam being extracted from the rat hole they found him in, with a voice-over saying "Is this how we treat foreign Heads of State? Well, not under MY plan, Buster!" as they fade to a scene of John Kerry in some sort of a Pacific Islander village, grinning and drinking Kava Root Tea with fat Samoans, and the voice-over continues "John Kerry respects Foreign Heads of State, even if they aren't Christians." Then they bring out a pig and the fat Samoans cut its heart out, and John Kerry laughs as he takes a bite of the still beating pig heart...and John Kerry laughs, manicacally, as the pig blood drips out of the corners of his mouth...and the voice-over says "John Kerry... He killed em in Viet Nam, he'll kill em in Iraq."