Pirate School is for learning the tricks of the trade. Really isn't many tricks other than stealin' and stabbin', but there is a fine art to stabbin'. Stealin' comes naturally when you have nothing 'cuz it all got stolen.
Pirate language is the first highly intensive course. We get you liqoured up and then teach you how to ramble. After the first week, your pirate speak is as solid as a rock - and so is your liver.
Then comes the stabbin' part. We train you on soft fruits at first, and then move up to stabbin' hobos. No one misses them, and it's the best practice. Especially since they try to hobble away like a peg legged captain, which helps greatly while attempting to commandeer your first vessel.
After your first two months, you are ready to start stealin'. Well actually, if you haven't learned by now - you get stabbed. BUT! You can't be a pirate without a scar.
Firing cannons is a two day course, fairly straight forward but there are a lot of mishaps. Perhaps it's due to poor cannon manufacturing, or complete inebriation, but what you do learn is invaluable for reigning terror down on whatever you please.
The last week of Pirate School is spent getting acquainted with your pirate monkey. He's fully trained in the art of stabbin' and stealin', but he needs to get use to you telling him what to stab and what to steal. Plus, they're great to drink with.
After your six month training it's time for graduation day, the day you have been waiting for. You get pirate boots and a pirate hat, and clothes left over from all the stabbed hobos. We get you liqoured up, sail you off to some place and let you loose like a pack of rabid, drunk, smelly, oddly dressed, physically deformed animals. It's up to you what you do then.
The skills you learned at Pirate School will be more than enough to defeat any ninja, or sniper with deathgrip.
-SW
