In my sour mood today (another post another time) my mom sent me this email. Most of you have probably seen it but it put a smile on my face and I want to pass on the favor.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
> > >1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
> > >2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
> > >3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
> > >second person.
> > >4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> > >5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> > >6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> > >7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
> > >8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
> > >9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> > >10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
> > >
> > >GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
> > >
> > >1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
> > >2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
> > >3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
> > >4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
> > >5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
> > >6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
toy.
> > >
> > >GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
> > >1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
> > >2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
> > >3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down
> > >there.
> > >4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
> > >chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
> > >5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
> > >ask you the questions.
> > >6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
> > >7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
> > >
> > >THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
> > >1) You believe in Santa Claus.
> > >2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
> > >3) You are Santa Claus.
> > >4) You look like Santa Claus.
> > >
> > >SUCCESS:
> > >At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
> > >At age 12 success is . .. having friends.
> > >At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
> > >At age 35 success is . . . having money.
> > >At age 50 success is . . having money.
> > >At age 70 success is . . . having friends.
> > >At age 75 success is . . .having a drivers license.
> > >At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
> > >
> > >
> > >Always remember the blessings that come each day. And say THANK YOU
> > >Have a wonderful day with many smiles!
> > >
> > >Take the time to live!!!
> > >Life is too short -- Dance naked
