Well damn, my nipple fell off this morning on my thinkpad and I cannot find it! So I called the hardware hotline to get it fixed.
They're sending out an IBM rep. Conversation went like this with the female hotline support person:
Me: Hi, I have an IBM thinkpad and my nipple fell off.
Her: Your 'what" fell off?
Me: My nipple, you know the little red thing that you use as a mouse when you don't have a mouse available.
Her: So its a mouse nipple?
Me: Well, seems rather large for a mouse nipple, but yes, I would say that is true.
Her: {Laughing} Oooookay! (Now she's typing) Customers nipple fell off. {Laughing again} Is that the correct term for this problem, nipple?
Me: So I've been told!
Her: Okay, have a nice day! Hope your nipple feels better!
Me: Thank you!