WWII Raccoons (LOL)...

[BlueJ1]

Reading book called Tales from WWII You Probably Never Heard Before by Zed Merrill. Thought this story was quite funny...

...It was in the early 1930s when Goering hit the summit for indulgence in flashy uniforms when he noticed a picture of a coat in an American magizine. What he saw, as the story goes, was a Yale cheerleader decked out in a full-length raccoon coat doing his rah-rah thing with a large megaphone. To Goering this coat was pure euphoria. But it did present a problem since there were no raccoons to be found anywhere in Germany.
   
      Goering first instructed an aide to contact an American coat manufacturer to outfit him with a raccoon coat, but there were none in stock big enough to fit his three hundred pound frame. They would, however, be more than happy to make one to his specifications. Goering turned them down because he a a better idea. An ingenious one at that. He would make his own raccoon coat,       ....
(continued)

[lasersailor184]

By taking over America?


Christ, we would have sent a few over, these things are like rats now.

[hawker238]

I didn't get it.

[BlueJ1]

(continued)
...maybe not just one but several. Perhaps enough to outfit all the top ranking Nazi officals.

       After much preperation, Goering was able to import four raccoons from the United States. There was no problem getting them through customs because he was in charge of that too. He immediatly  started a breeding program that would soon have little raccoons running about everywhere.
...(Yadda Yadda Yadda)...

But the raccoons didn't breed on the scale Goering had hoped they would. They did their thing when they wanted to and often would escape their pens and scratch their keepers.
...(Skip a paragraph)...

...his subordinates followed his orders and released what raccoons there were deep in a forest. Goering's great raccoon coat empire was a fizzle, and now they were gona and forgotten forever as far as Goering was concerned. At least thats what he thought.
...(skip another paragraph)...

To this day, all of Europe is infested with an out-of-control population of raccoons that has reached monstrous proportions. They are everywhere, even in the cities. Thanks to Reichsmarschell Hermann Goering and a Yale cheerleader.

[Lizking]

That is nothing, my Grandmother imported armadillos into Mississippi in the 30's.  She has been killing the little bastids ever since.

[capt. apathy]

don't even get me started on the damn raccoons

[spitfiremkv]

I think the story goes deepr than that.
They are Nazi raccoons and they are just bidding their time...

[BlueJ1]

The book syas they didnt breed enough being Americans aganst the Nazi cause.

[lasersailor184]

We had a raccoon come up to our house a lot and eat our cat food.  Finally, I had enough of it.  So I pumped up the pellet gun to a decent 4 pumps, something to hurt a lot, but not hurt permanently.

I would open the door and he'd run off and come back 20 seconds later when the door was open.

Finally he decided I wasn't a threat and just stayed eating.  So I let him have it right in the rump.  He jumped clean 4 feet in the air, spun around and gave me a look like, "Why me? What have I done?"

Haven't seen the bugger back since.

[Furball]

obvously they cant swim, or hitch hike on boats. because im in europe and i sure as hell have never seen one.

[patrone]

A so called:HOAX

[DieAz]

Originally posted by Furball
obvously they cant swim, or hitch hike on boats. because im in europe and i sure as hell have never seen one.

ah , yes they can swim. many a coon hounds went to Davey Jones' locker with a coon on top of their heads.

[Hawklore]

Apathy, that story is nothing to what I have experienced..

Late one night, I saw something big moving outside, thought it was the my cat, but when I pulled back the curtains to check it was a raccoon..


I was like COOL!, I rehabilitate raccoons and squirells, and well we get along well till we keep them outside in a pre-release cage, which hardens them for the enviroment.

Well I went outside, with some fruit, catfood -which you never feed a raccoon in high quanity, only dog food-

I gloved my right hand, and kneeled down next to the right tree with the stuff in my hand, he never ran away, and he even ate the cat food around me, I watched him closely and he wasn't sick, wasn't acting weird, he just felt comfortable around me, until I moved too fast.

I stayed out there next to him for a good 30 mins, and actually reached out to touch his nose, gloved of course, and he jumped and finally ran away.

I know he wasn't sick, it was the time they should come out, he was nice and healthy looking, I just think we somehow agreed with eachother, leave me alone, I'll leave you alone.

[lasersailor184]

You see a sort of reverse and accelerated evolution going on.

I see squirrels getting smarter by the day, especially with my cat around.  All the dumb ones are getting eaten or run over.  So evolution is happening on an extremely quick scale, instead of over thousands of years.


I see the raccoons getting dumber by the day.  Because of our lifestyle, they have benefitted.  The smart and tough raccons are off in the woods surviving.  However, the dumb ones are living it up and sharing their trash buffet with their dates and are breeding like rabbits.

Anti evolution.  I'd be willing to be in 20 years we start to domesticate raccoons.

[Toad]

BBQ raccoon is pretty good; a little greasy but great with beer. It's a real white meat with a high fat content.