Author Topic: Heh...  (Read 236 times)

Offline Scrap

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Heh...
« on: January 31, 2005, 07:08:47 PM »
From a post in my squad forum (thought I'd share it with the rest of yall):


 Heh....

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got
1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If! GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times! as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Offline Rolex

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Heh...
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2005, 07:26:19 PM »
Has this been around for 6 or 7 years? It's so long ago, I can't remember - Win98 era.

Offline Chairboy

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Heh...
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2005, 07:26:27 PM »
SNOPES ATTACK!

Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat!
http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.htm
"When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis

Offline RTStuka

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Heh...
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2005, 08:09:15 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Chairboy
SNOPES ATTACK!

Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat!
http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.htm


Like we needed Snopes for this one.

Offline Chairboy

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Heh...
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2005, 12:39:11 AM »
Maybe we didn't, but examine Scrap's language carefully.
"When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis

Offline rpm

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Heh...
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2005, 01:17:06 AM »
Next you'll tell me that the guy in Ethiopia isn't going to send me the $300,000 .
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Stay thirsty my friends.

Offline Rasker

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Heh...
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2005, 01:44:02 AM »
No the guy in Zimbabwe gonna send meeee the 2.5 million, also the barrister in Nigeria who saw how honest looking my email handle looks! :) And of course, theyll NEVER ask me for money for bribes etc...

BTW, anyone ever try to string these guys along when they try that scam? :)  They say  you're not sposed to respond, but ...

Offline J_A_B

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Heh...
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2005, 02:19:40 AM »
Hey this thread reminded me to check my Email, I forgot it existed and haven't checked it in several weeks.


Empty e-mail box,  as usual.  Man, even the spammers hate me!

J_A_B