Author Topic: Sport Utility Mishap... (Read 918 times)

Shuckins · « **on:** February 09, 2005, 09:34:31 PM »

...in my front yard!

Got a call at work today that a vehicle had left the highway and landed in the trailer my wife uses as a piano studio.

Rushed home to find the following...a brand new humvee with a snazzy camouflage paint job traveling at high speed had left the highway, narrowly missing a trash truck, smashed through our trash bin, scattering trash in every direction like confetti, ripped a metal highway sign free of its base and sending it flying nearly 100 feet, roared through our ditch, crossed the front yard, centered a large sweet-gum tree, and caromed off it, side-swiping the wife's building as it came to a rest.

The police, ambulance, and wrecker were long gone by the time I got there, but ruts, skid marks, and oil covered the front yard. The wife had taken pictures for purposes of insurance. The humvee was so severely damaged that the wheels would no longer turn.

The driver was the wife of a local logging magnate. According to reliable sources, she had had several wrecks prior to this. Luckily, while she sustained some broken ribs, she suffered little else in the way of serious injuries.

If the muddy ground in the ditch had not slowed her down she might have been killed.

Highway 425 through Monticello is a dangerous bit of road. In the last 5 years six people have died in separate accidents in the two mile stretch between my house and the local Crackerbox. People drive like fools on it.

Tarmac · « **Reply #1 on:** February 09, 2005, 09:37:21 PM »

A real Humvee, or one of those H2 mutant bastard-children?

Shuckins · « **Reply #2 on:** February 09, 2005, 09:38:40 PM »

Real Humvee...with a perfect v-shaped divit in the engine compartment.

Nash · « **Reply #3 on:** February 09, 2005, 09:46:18 PM »

A real conundrum.

A loving husband, say, with a wife who is a train wreck behind the wheel.

Buy her the biggest, toughest vehicle ever... in order that she may be saved? Knowing full well that your wife behind the wheel of the biggest, toughest vehicle ever poses a potentially grave risk to the community at large.

What would Jesus do?

Shuckins · « **Reply #4 on:** February 09, 2005, 09:47:23 PM »

He'd forgive her.

Nash · « **Reply #5 on:** February 09, 2005, 09:48:53 PM »

Aye...

The Humvee it is.

Shuckins · « **Reply #6 on:** February 09, 2005, 09:50:32 PM »

By the way...it was HIS humvee...she had presented it to him as a Christmas present.

lasersailor184 · « **Reply #7 on:** February 09, 2005, 10:21:18 PM »

Sometimes, I wonder if an IQ test is a necessary addition to the License test. Also for voters registration...

Masherbrum · « **Reply #8 on:** February 09, 2005, 10:58:20 PM »

99% of women and about 85% of men have no idea what the strength of a vehicle frame can do. Women simply should not be behind the wheel of a Hummer, I've seen too many more worried about "status symbol" than common sense. Most men and women have no idea what to do when their "SUV, Truck, Texas Limo, etc" begins the "out of control" stage. You should be able to take this broad and stupid husband to the cleaners.

I'm glad your wife is probably just scared, but not hurt.

Karaya

Siaf__csf · « **Reply #9 on:** February 10, 2005, 03:24:08 AM »

The fact is that there are millions of people on the road daily who NEVER EVER should get a driving license.

People with bad eyesight, people so dumb they can't find the gas pedal etc.

You can spot these people usually from a couple things: First it's the speed. Either they drive like complete lunatics and crash or they go to a highway to drive 40mph. I mean why don't they choose the rural small roads with 40mph top speed limits? No they go on a highway and force a thousand people to pass them.

Second giveaway is the stiff forward leaned position behind the steering wheel. Their body language screams a total lack of confidence. These people know they can't drive, yet they do.

You can expect anything from drivers like this. Most commonly they will slam the breaks for no apparent reason. Clear empty road - and whoopee let's do an emergency breaking just for the fun of it.

Then when the unfortunate driver behind rear-ends the F**n moron, he ends up paying the bill and yet another accident gets filed in statistics as 'not caused by a woman.'

I'm telling you, rear-endings are 10x more common on women than other drivers.

cpxxx · « **Reply #10 on:** February 10, 2005, 04:27:31 AM »

Exactly Siaf, people, men or women driving like that make me crazy. Driving 20mph below the speed limit. Ok that's allowed but why not be courteous and get the hell out of the way!:mad: What always gets me really mad though is often the second in line who refuse to pass the slow driver and follow like sheep. As a result there is a huge tailback. In the end I usually get by simply by overtaking four or five at once on a straight stretch. It's maddening. Lately I've taken to getting in front of the slow driver for a mile or two and slowing even more to see how they like it. Soon they're flashing they're lights and freaking out. Amazing.

On the subject of SUV's. When driver's lose control they lose it big. There was an accident here recently when an SUV went wide on a corner crossed the road hit a pole bounced back hit a car and sent it spinning. The driver of the following car, said all she could see was the spinning car. The SUV had vanished. She soon found out, the SUV was airborne and landed on her car killing her husband. Scary to think of it.

Siaf__csf · « **Reply #11 on:** February 10, 2005, 09:25:51 AM »

Then when you use your 200+ hp to pass 5-6 cars all at once.. Nice time to drive into a speedtrap huh?

A couple weeks ago when I passed 3 cars that stuck behind a 18-wheeler (driving 15mph below limit naturally) I passed the 3 sedans and positioned between the first sedan and the truck.

The retard had the nerve to play his lights on me even though I didn't even break the speed limit for one second while passing all of them. I wanted to show him the finger but my sunscreen was up and he wasn't worth the push on the button.

JBA · « **Reply #12 on:** February 10, 2005, 11:52:17 AM »

How's your wife's piano?

and I think you should move.

cpxxx · « **Reply #13 on:** February 10, 2005, 12:02:19 PM »

That happened to me recently. Got stuck behind a twit one night with an unreadable licence plate, a broken tail light doing 20 in a 30 zone and driving erratically. Went past him at the first chance I got only to see the faint outline of a whitish car which turned into traffic car with blue lights parked up the dark road and he had a camera. I may be OK but I'm sure I exceeded the limit passing the moron. So now I'm expecting a letter with a fine and points on my previously clean licence.

I guarantee the fool who cause the problem got off scot free.

On the subject of women, my girlfriend who is a blonde after all

forgot about a fixed and well signposted GATSO camera with a 50 limit and did 80 through it. The flash woke here up. The best bit is that two weeks later she did it again.

. I haven't stopped laughing since. But someone was looking after her and she only got one fine.

Siaf__csf · « **Reply #14 on:** February 10, 2005, 12:22:27 PM »

Maybe she was fixing her bra on the second picture and the pc's considered the fine paid.