OTW home from work I was slammed while stopped at a red light by the "No" family.
NO shoes
NO shirts
NO Tag
NO registration
NO license
NO plates
NO Insurance
NO cigarettes
NO money
NO Brakes
NO teeth
and now:
NO car..
The NO family explained that they had no breaks because the master cylinder gave out the week before so they were using the emergency break while driving... Not the correct statement to make to me after whacking my parked truck..
91 mazda -vs- 2002 ford explorer
The "No" family mazda station wagon hit the hitch bar on the explorer with the entire force of the impact, I first thought we had been hit by a semi and was stunned due to the strength of the impact, my wife jumps out and yells ohhh my god and I turn back and look and the Mazda is decimated beyond belief and the "no" family was jettisoning out the windows of the car... I get out to survey my ford and all I see is mazda parts scattered on the ground
under the bumper and glass shards..
minor scratchs and a small dent on the hatchlid below the plates....Probably about $1000 in cosmetic repairs or less.
"NO" family gets desparate...
After we realize no one is hurt the leader of the "NO" family asks me to exchange info and let him push the mazda away, but in return he would surely repair and pay for all damages with the exchange of a simple phone number.... I reply with a simple David Spade "nicht" having been burned badly years before during a similar episode its not going to happen again...
Leader "NO" starts ripping his clothing off on the median and pounding his chest and the hood of the mazda screaming that he is going to kill me... The other "NO" family members pounce on the "NO" leader and hold him down so as to not make things worse then they already are.. Then comes the attempted payoff in the form of take Leader "NO" to an Amscot and he would pay me a couple $100 dollars to let them flee.. "Nicht" "not gonna happen... Then Leader "NO" begs me to let them flee because someone was going to jail possibly most of them if the FHP shows up... I reply to late FHP is on the way.... Leader "NO" throws another fit threatening to make me pay for his situation of misery... Again they have to grab him and hold him back which by this time I was ready for him...
The "NO" family talk the "NO" leader into walking across the median for beers at applebees and he happily skips away I figure with his last handfull of change:
About an hour into the situation the the "NO" family wrecker pulls on scene.... Leader "NO" tries to bribe the wrecker guy into picking the car up and leaving the scene before the FHP arrives but thats not going to happen due to the illegality of it the wrecker guy states....
Leader "NO" tries to bribe me with his cell phone, I'll give you my cell phone if you let me go... I pull three cell phones out of the console and offer an even trade for the oldest i have...
FHP arrives on the scene and Leader "NO" takes control of the situation...He first tells the officer the previous master cylinder story...
Then the tag was from another car, they have no license or registration, no insurance, nothing nicht, nine, nyet nothing to offer the FHP officer Ponch
Why Officer Ponch? He looked just like Ponch from the tv show....
Officer Ponch then locked his keys in the patrol car... Wrecker guy saves the day and removes officer Ponchs keys from the locked cruiser....
Its 8:30PM now and I have been in front of an applebees for almost 3 hours while officer Ponch writes 8 tickets to the "NO" family.... While Ponch is in the cruiser writing tickets, Leader "NO" decides to try and convince Officer Ponch to be lenient on the "NO's" he opens the passenger door on the cruiser and proceeds to lean in on Ponch which produces less then intended results as Ponch tells "NO" to close the cruiser door while threatening pulling his service revolver..
Finally Ponch tells me what I need and lets me flee from the "NO" family.....
I will end up paying at least some deductable for the repairs but the fact that I may help get these losers off the street for even a small amount of time is well worth the aggrevation of it all....
The driver is a three time repeat which in florida means mandatory jail, the car owner is guilty of altered tags which makes him a three time repeater as well according to Ponch...
End Saga? one can only hope...
TOJO
