<>  SirLoin,
If this is due to the pop up window you get , their is a way to get rid of the pop up window.
type   .showjoin0  or it might be  .showjoin 0
in any case when someone tries to join you , you will not get a pop up window , but in your text buffer it will show.
only draw back is that you have to type this everytime you enter the MA .
As for accepting I dont remember , but I'm  sure someone knows.