>Advice for Newcomers to Texas
>
>1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use
>it.
>
>2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay
>home the two days of the year it snows.
>
>3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a
>four-wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along
>shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what
>they live for.
>
>4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the same store.
>
>5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is
>plural possessive.
>
>6. Get used to hearing, "Yew ain't from around here, are yew?"
>
>7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone,
>directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive
>on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and
>lane position for that vehicle.
>
>8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his
>way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
>
>9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the
>collateral phrases "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
>
>10. There are no delis. Don't ask.
>
>11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder when making a
>point, especially in a bar.
>
>12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
>
>13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven.
>
>14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
>
>15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down in December.
>
>16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February, and Summer!
>
>17. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Chevy 3500 pick- up is.
>
>18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot" you can
>be certain they are.
>
>19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a bowl
>of guacamole handy. Water won't do it.
>
>20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.
>
>21. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean
>anything's broken.
>
>22. Don't even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri. What you really
>mean to say is 'margarita.'
>
>23. If you don't understand our passion for college and high school
>football and Nascar Racing just keep your mouth shut.
>
>24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the
>door, but the availability of shade.
>
>25. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two-lane road pull on to the
>shoulder that is called "courtesy".
>
>26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hotdogs
>outdoors.
>
>27. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular
weekend
>pastime.
>
>28. "Tea" = Iced Tea. There is no other kind.
>
>29. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
------------------
Ripsnort(-rip1-)
I./JG2~Richthofen~
=CO=Panzer Group Afrika-15th Panzer division
JG2 Communications Officer
Aces High Training CorpsCLICK>> JG2 "Richthofen"CLICK>> 15th Panzer Division
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when
someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it
only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm, grasp the joystick button,
and shoot the sucker down!
