About your problems in DA i have no idea what you are talking about.
If ya talk to someone and agree on a duell it works, just need to fly where no one else is.
It is full dar / radar so eays to say where are enemys. If you dont talk but just up and expect a random guy to duel you then the way you want it, thats like standing in the townhall and waiting for a woman to come and marry you, have 2 children and be happy for the rest of your life. Without having to say anything but yes from your side.
I have no idea WHAt you experienced in the DA, but maybe you were just to tired to notice what is happening.