Author Topic: Adventures in retail... (Read 1211 times)

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #45 on:** June 05, 2005, 10:00:14 AM »

Some years ago I was the supervisor in the Paint shop in one of our major ment...err I mean medical institutions.

Anyway my guys would paint the various wings and rooms and do the right thing by putting up these really nice signs with BIG BOLD red letters saying "WET PAINT" all over whatever area they were in.

Problem was a great many people it seems either cant read (Doctors in particular) or dont bother to even try.

So one day I happen to spot this hotshot doctor washing the sleeve of his jacket at the water fountain. So I walk up to him and ask what happened.
He said he got paint on his jacket and was washing it off. Then he looked at me and recognising who I was said in a real snide voice "You shoud have your guys use wet paint signs"

I looked around and saw (no lie)no less then 10 wet paint signs in just the immediate area.
I say to him "there are wet paint signs up"
then he says in a real loud and nasty voice "Well then you need to put more up!"
I just laughed and told him that maybe he should try paying more attention.

so anyway not wanting to go through this again I made new signs up.

these said again in big bold letters FREE! WET PAINT ON WALLS Amazing how people will pay attention to anything with the word "free" in it.

Well folks stopped getting paint on them but now I was faced with something new.
Many people wanted to kknow how they could get their "free wet paint"

After being asked this about 100 times my responce became standard.

"The Free wet paint is on the walls. Any and all paint you manage to get on your clothing you may take home absolutley free of charge. If at ANY time, you are unhappy with the amount of paint you get on your clothing. Let me know and I will be more then happy to personally apply more"

tapakeg · « **Reply #46 on:** June 05, 2005, 12:25:53 PM »

Yeah, be a bartender and turn these already social retards drunk.............the results are 10 fold.

I had a guy all excited to bump into an old friend, blurt out, " 2 shots of your best brandy!"

You should have seen the look on his face when I set down the 2 snifters and tell him

" That will be $250 please"

I had a waitress who had a customer ask what the soup of the day was. She went into the kitchen, asked the chef, Ok, butternut squash. She was repeating it to herself over and over so she wouldn't forget.. butternut squash, butternut squash. Until she got to the table and blurted out.......The soup of the day is butterscotch schnapps!!!!!

Same waitress, she comes down to the bar to ask the bartender if we had a chablis. Bartender told her, No but we do have Tequila.......oh yeah she went back to the table. " I'm sorry we don't have a chablis, but we do have tequila."

Ya really have to be in food and beverage for these

john9001 · « **Reply #47 on:** June 05, 2005, 12:43:30 PM »

whenever i see a "wet paint" sign, i always touch it to see if it is true.

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #48 on:** June 05, 2005, 12:46:40 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by john9001
whenever i see a "wet paint" sign, i always touch it to see if it is true.

Your not alone. Nor are you in a minority.

cant tell you how many times Ive seen and still see people read the sign then say "is this still wet?" as they HAVE to touch it to make sure.

Steve · « **Reply #49 on:** June 05, 2005, 01:33:27 PM »

To keep frustration to a minimum and to keep yourself from being harmed by the stupidity of others you must remember this one simple, fast rule: 75-80% of the people around you are absoulte idiots.

I believe that the proof of God's existence is all around us in traffic. There is no other way to explain how all these idiots(remember 75-80% of those around you are just plain dumb) arrive at their destination w/out killing you or themselves.

Meatwad · « **Reply #50 on:** June 05, 2005, 01:36:27 PM »

You aint kidding!

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #51 on:** June 05, 2005, 06:48:39 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Steve
To keep frustration to a minimum and to keep yourself from being harmed by the stupidity of others you must remember this one simple, fast rule: 75-80% of the people around you are absoulte idiots.

I believe that the proof of God's existence is all around us in traffic. There is no other way to explain how all these idiots(remember 75-80% of those around you are just plain dumb) arrive at their destination w/out killing you or themselves.

I came to that exact same conclusion a long long LONG time ago.

Long time ago I workedin a car wash. My job at that time was to greet the customers and to find out what they wanted done to their cars.

Now keep in mind in the busy winter months there were lines that people sometimes had to wait in for 20 min or more.
there was also a BIG sign which you had to look at no matter if you wanted to or not.
the sign was something like this

Exterior Only Wash $250

FULL WASH Interior Clean & Exterior $4.00

Hot Wax $1.00

Super Polish $2.00

Full Wash & Super Polish SPECIAL $5.50

Now I would watch these people stare at the sign the entire way up to the point I greeted them. In fact most of the time they were still looking at the sign when I asked them what they wanted.

Cant even count how often they would say "How much is a full wash?"

Or
"How much is a special?"

Others would say they wanted a "Full wash & Super polish"

I'd say "you mean you want a Special"

"No I dont want the special. I just want a full wash with the super polish"

Chairboy · « **Reply #52 on:** June 05, 2005, 07:04:07 PM »

Expensive exterior only wash. I'd be confused too.

Saintaw · « **Reply #53 on:** June 06, 2005, 01:05:33 AM »

In software development, there is a test phase where you have to try every single way to missuse the application. It's called "Monkey testing". I think it's spot on.

Last one I had was a customer asking me if he could have his laptop (No wi-fi) boot automaticaly & play a "song" whenever a new message was posted on their forums. I still haven't answered that positively.

Users = Baboons.

T0J0 · « **Reply #54 on:** June 06, 2005, 08:40:17 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Saintaw
In software development, there is a test phase where you have to try every single way to missuse the application. It's called "Monkey testing". I think it's spot on.

Last one I had was a customer asking me if he could have his laptop (No wi-fi) boot automaticaly & play a "song" whenever a new message was posted on their forums. I still haven't answered that positively.

Users = Baboons.

USers=$

Jackal1 · « **Reply #55 on:** June 06, 2005, 10:01:12 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Chairboy
Expensive exterior only wash. I'd be confused too.

I`d just shoot the sign maker if I owned the place.

rpm · « **Reply #56 on:** June 08, 2005, 12:48:02 AM »

There must have been a full moon or something tonight.

It's 30 minutes before closing and I'm trying to run the floor scrubber. I've got the wet floor signs at the entrance for everyone to see. A woman comes up to me and asks if I can see the 1/4" trail of water it is leaving in spots. Says she stepped in it 3 times and she "almost busted her ass". I wanted ever so badly to ask her if she could see it why did she keep stepping in it? But, I politely say "I'm sorry".

Next, a man stops me and asks if we have any more tomatoes. He's standing in front of a bin with at least 100 tomatoes in it. I send a stocker to the back to find more for him to pick from and try to finish scrubbing the floor before closing.

Same guy now yells, YELLS at me "Why are these tomatoes so bad?". I stop the scrubber, AGAIN, and walk back over to the tomato bin. They look just fine to me but I tell him I'm not the produce manager but if he wants to find out, call tomorrow and ask for... he cuts me off in mid sentence "Nevermind, it's not that important. I just thought you would have some better tomatoes."
Yeah, I have a secret stash I keep in the back just for a-holes like you...

Back to the scrubber, now really pressed for time to finish. A woman walks up and asks if I can go to the meat market and find her some T-bones we have on sale (that ends tonight) that we are out of. I stop the scrubber, AGAIN. I find 1 sale package left in the cooler and bring them out. "Can you cut me some more?" Jeebus fluff'n Christ... I explain we are sold out, the sale ends today and I'm sorry but we don't have any more. "So, can you cut me some?" I wanted to ask her why she waits until there are 5 minutes before the sale ends to decide to stock up when they were on sale for a week, but instead tell her "No, I'm sorry, I'm not the market manager and I'm not a qualified butcher. I can't." Now she wants a raincheck. I walk over get a copy of the sale paper that clearly states in bold print "NO RAINCHECKS" and explain we got the steaks on a special buy. "Well, can I get these ribeyes for the sale price instead?" No ma'am, I'm sorry but I can't do that. "I want to talk to the Manager!" Ma'am, I AM the Store Manager on duty and we are closing in 5 minutes, we are sold out. If you like you can call our main office at..."Nevermind."

I manage to finish the floor, running the scrubber at full speed, 10 minutes after closing. And people wonder why I drink...

Hangtime · « **Reply #57 on:** June 08, 2005, 01:03:21 AM »

Bless you. You have the paitence of Job.

Apply for a job at the post office. Arm yourself.

I hear that at the post office, if a customer gets outta line, it's ok to go postal.

In fact, I've never seen so many polite customers in my life as I've seen at the Post Office.

Just something to think about.

john9001 · « **Reply #58 on:** June 08, 2005, 01:16:09 AM »

post office...POST OFFICE....why don't you just charge 40 cents for a stamp, what the h*** am i going to do with all the 1 cent stamps??