Author Topic: Lasz (Read 1966 times)

ravells · « **on:** July 08, 2005, 05:36:20 PM »

Your book is working it's way to the top of the pile. Three more and then it's there.

I've taken up shotgun shooting (clay pidgeons) and enjoying it immensely.

We have a rat in the house, the warferin isn't getting rid of the bugger, so I want to get an air rifle to despatch it, but the wife won't have anything resembling a gun in the house.

I did try saying, 'but Lasz said...'

Nothing would give me more pleasure than staking out the kitchen and killing that rodent.

Ravs

Captain Virgil Hilts · « **Reply #1 on:** July 08, 2005, 05:45:33 PM »

Lasz has created a monster.

ravells · « **Reply #2 on:** July 08, 2005, 05:51:48 PM »

mwahahaha!

Jackal1 · « **Reply #3 on:** July 08, 2005, 06:09:59 PM »

The key to rat stalking is all in the camo.
From your wife and the rat.
In the middle of the night, (while wifey is snoozing), prepare yourself for battle.
Start by taking care of the human scent factor. Stripping down and rubbing a slice of cheese all over your body should do the trick. (Note: Don`t get so carried away with the cheese rubbing that you forget your objective)
Now for the camo. Use a large number of Mrs Bairds, or an equal brand name, bread bags, preferably with crumbs still in the bag. Can`t be too carefull about the scent. You can finish out your camo with things such as Twinkie wrappers, frozen pizza boxes, etc. (Do not use delivery pizza boxes or you might turn from hunter to hunted)
Now, bait out a strategic location with cheese, bread and some of that leftover meatloaf from day before yesterday that you told the wife was delicious, but really sucked.
Position your stand (dining room chair)
close enough for a killing shot, but not close enough too spook Ole Pinky.
Remember to allow for and minimize collateral damage in your master plan of attack.
Good luck trooper. Stand tall. :)l

ravells · « **Reply #4 on:** July 08, 2005, 06:14:32 PM »

That squealing rat has become too damn cocky, I actually see him by the dogs food bowl eating the biscuits. He looks at me, I look at him and the rushes off under the skirting board.

That arrogant rat has to die.

Don't need camo, don't need cheese just need the air gun...maybe you're right, I'll just kill it and incur Felicty's wrath the next morning when she sees me standing proudly in the kitchen with a dead rat in my hand.

Ravs

p.s. we have two cats...bloody useless. I think they've cut a deal with the rodent.

Dago · « **Reply #5 on:** July 08, 2005, 06:19:38 PM »

Practice knife throwing. Dont forget to lead him slightly depending on his speed.

I do hear cricket bats are quite the weapon in the UK.

good luck catching or killing that pesky liberal rat.

dago

ravells · « **Reply #6 on:** July 08, 2005, 06:22:20 PM »

Knife throwing! Good idea! (I'm now reduced to catepults with ball bearings but I'm afraid I'll shatter the oven or windows or something.

It's definitely a conservative rat - it's very decisive. If it had been a liberal rat I'd have been able to grab it whilst it was trying to change it's mind a dozen times.

Ravs

Jackal1 · « **Reply #7 on:** July 08, 2005, 08:47:34 PM »

ROFLMAO

Maverick · « **Reply #8 on:** July 09, 2005, 10:24:14 AM »

Peanut butter on a large mousetrap will do the trick. Just keep kids, the dog and yourself out of range.

I woldn't say Laz has created a "monster", yet. After all the wife has spoken and he is obeying regarding firearms in the house. A "monster" wouldn't be effected in that way...........

lazs2 · « **Reply #9 on:** July 11, 2005, 07:56:06 AM »

cats don't usually kill big rats but they do wipe out the babies.

The best thing for in the house is "shotshells" they make em for 22 rimfire and all the handguns.. the 22 ones work surprisingly well considering how little shot is in one but I like the 45 or 44 ones.

These are pistol rounds and are loaded with fairly light charges and about 200 grains of number 9 shot. like dust.. they dond do much damage past about 10 feet but still enough to kill a rat.

A pellet gun would be fine too tho. Tell the wife if she doesn't like looking at it then.... don't look at it. Not like you are gonna make her oil it or anything and... not like she doesn't have crap around that you don't like looking at. A pellet gun isn't a gun so she can't have an objection based on even a decent phobia.. What's next.. no movies with guns in em? Can't say the word around her? Nobody is that delicate... she is simply using the whold gun thing to control you. "oh look.. I bet I can get him to sit when he pees next week."

lazs

Jackal1 · « **Reply #10 on:** July 11, 2005, 08:14:18 AM »

<-----Was waiting on that.

eskimo2 · « **Reply #11 on:** July 11, 2005, 08:37:33 AM »

One of the best shots I ever made was an indoor bow & arrow mouse kill. I used to see this little mouse scurry around at random times. So I left my kid’s sized recurve bow, with an arrow in the notch, on the table. One morning I’m eating breakfast and my roommate and the mouse enter the room at the same time, about 10’ apart. I grabbed, drew and shot the bow while he was running full gallop at about 20 feet away (the mouse). My roommate was barely awake and was pretty startled by the commotion and was even a little ticked that I shot with him sorta down range. I was too proud of my shot to care. The truth is I pretty much suck at archery and couldn’t make that shot again with a thousand tries.

eskimo

Skydancer · « **Reply #12 on:** July 11, 2005, 09:07:43 AM »

Actualy those "cricket paddles" Cricket Bats in English

are quite good at despatching rats. Theres usualy less collateral damage too!

lazs2 · « **Reply #13 on:** July 11, 2005, 09:17:18 AM »

DELETED
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Curval · « **Reply #14 on:** July 11, 2005, 09:32:24 AM »

Ravs...you do realise the book you are about to read is NRA propaganda, right?

Maybe you could write a review on it. Just sign your name Mary Rosh...it quite a popular pen name.